“You’re what?”
“Pregnant. I’m…pregnant.” It feels strange to say it out loud, and I let out a laugh that quickly morphs into a sob as I collapse onto the end of the bed.
Ciara is quiet for a moment as I try to collect myself, but the silence only makes me cry harder.
“Are those happy tears?” she asks tentatively.
“I-I don’t know.” I wipe my eyes. “I think so… But I haven’t told Kieran yet.”
“You haven’t told him?” Ciara’s tone isn’t judgmental, just surprised.
“I only found out yesterday, and I haven’t had a chance to tell him. He’s so stressed and weighed down with everything, and I just—” My voice cracks, and I suck in a breath as I try to hold myself together. “What if he doesn’t want this? What if this baby is just another burden?”
Ciara studies me for a long moment, then pats the bed beside her. “Come and sit up here with me.”
I crawl up the bed and curl myself up against her. But when she puts her arms around me, the sisterly comfort only makes me cry harder as I think of my own sister.
It’s been years since she died, and yet, every time I go through a milestone, like graduating high school or getting the internship, I’m hit by a wave of guilt that I got to experience such things, and she didn’t. But now that I’m pregnant, her absence feels even greater.
She won’t ever get to meet my child, or Kieran, or have a family of her own, and that thought makes my heart ache.
“You need to tell him, Riley,” Ciara says gently. “As soon as you can. Keeping secrets like that never ends well. Believe me, I know.”
“I know. I wanted to do it last night, but the timing didn’t feel right.”
“The timing will never feel right, and the longer you leave it, the harder it gets.”
I swallow hard, blinking against the sting in my eyes. “I’m scared.”
“Of course, you are. But it’s worth it.” She takes my hand and places it on her belly. “Can you feel that?”
“Feel what?”
“Just wait.”
Ciara adjusts my hand, and that’s when I feel it, the faint fluttering of tiny feet kicking at her belly.
“Oh, my God.”
She smiles. “That’s baby girl. She’s pretty quiet and doesn’t kick me too often in the ribs or the bladder.”
“That’s nice of her, I guess.”
“Baby boy, on the other hand…” She sighs as she moves my hand to the other side of her belly. “…is Ronan’s little doppelganger."
“How can you tell?”
“Because he’s stubborn and doesn’t like to go to sleep when I tell him to.”
I laugh as he kicks my hand.
“See? He thinks he’s in charge, but really, I think his sister is going to be the boss.”
“It’s amazing.”
Ciara laughs. “You won’t be saying that when there’s a foot in your bladder all damn night. But I love the idea of the twins having a cousin close in age.”
My eyes sting once more, but this time from happiness as I picture Kieran and Ronan running around after the children in the enormous garden at the Sullivan estate as Ciara and I lounge by the pool.
It’s a future I never pictured for myself, and yet, it’s one I’m not ready to give up on.
I just have to hope that Kieran feels the same way.
