I sighed. Anxiety twisted in my gut because I was terrified of all the things that could go wrong. But in the moments yesterday where I couldn’tstopthinking about them, I could admit to myself that I still wanted them.
No person had ever made me feel as safe as they did, which felt impossible with men who were strangers, but it happened.
“And I want them,” I finally said.
“Fuckyes. Please tell me you’ve texted them.”
“Not yet. Like I said, I’ve been in a brain hole all day.”
I could practically hear her eyes roll. “If you don’t do it by tomorrow, I’m stealing your phone and doing it for you.”
“Not if I throw it in the ocean tonight,” I muttered. “Besides, I don’t have their number.”
“THAT IS A FIXABLE PROBLEM,” she yelled, laughing. “It’s going to be great. Stop sabotaging what could be the best thing to ever happen to you before it even starts.”
“You’re annoying when you’re right, you know that?”
“Nice try, but I’m annoying all the time.” She laughed. “Okay, I’ll stop bugging you. But Iwillbe asking. If you’re going for it, I’m not going to let them slip out of sight and out of mind.”
That pulled a burst of laughter from me. “Fine. You win. If I don’t text them tomorrow, you can steal my phone.”
“Feels good to be the victor,” she teased. “Talk to you later?”
“Yeah.”
She hung up, and I took a steadying breath. Ididwant them. And I was still terrified. Two things could be true simultaneously.
But I would worry about that afterward. My mind was still stuck on the contact on the beach, and even though I didn’t have to be there for a few hours, I decided to go. All I was going to do here was watch the clock, not get anything done. It was the end of the workday, anyway.
The wind on my face, bare feet on the sand, and the sinking sun were a sure cure for most of life’s problems, including my anxiety. Out here, the idea of the Breaker Pack seemed less impossible.
Nothing felt impossible when you were staring at infinity.
I needed a beach day soon. Before the weather turned. It had been months since I spent time near the water, and I could feel the muscles in my shoulders and neck easing. Nothing replaced a good massage, but a beach day came damn close.
As the sun slipped down the sky, I made my way over to the dock in question. I had no idea what this person looked like, but they knew my name, and it wasn’t hard to find my face. I would trust them to find me.
A text beeped in the group chat, and I rolled my eyes.
Isolde
Ask for their number yet?
Trinity
Fuck off. Love you!
Ocean
What did I miss?
Isolde began typing, and I prepared to see a block of text filling in our friend on everything we’d talked about after she left yesterday.
“You’re Trinity Crawford?” The low voice startled me. I turned and found a man relaxing against one of the dock’s giant support pillars. Sunglasses and a ball cap. Plain clothing that would stand out or be remembered. “Don’t look at me.”
I looked back out at the ocean. We were only a couple of feet apart, so I could hear him, but if anyone glanced in our direction, all they would see would be two strangers admiring the sea.
“Here.” The man’s hand slid into the bag that I had on my shoulder, and I felt something drop.
