Sigurd turns his back and walks off, and for the first time, I notice his age. When I had first laid eyes on him, he was mighty. In control. Now he is worried. Feeble, even. Not a good look for a leader of warriors. No one would have doubted his authority while he screamed at Vidar and Ari to stop fighting. Such a change in so little time. Now, anyone could see an opportunity for his throne.
“I’m getting older, Kilda,” he says, like he’s reading my mind. “At my age, a man must plan for the inevitable. For his legacy.”
It dawns on me what he is speaking of. Why is he sharing these thoughts with me? Aren’t I the slave who got Njord killed with her schemes? He turns suddenly, his eyes searing into mine.
“Soon, the worms will eat me.”
“Surely you have a few years left, my lo?—”
“My wife, dear Volva, my wife—she thought like you. She was like Thyra in disposition, but she had the same thoughts as you.”
I look down at the mention of his wife. Why is he so emotional?
“What… uh… thoughts, Jarl Sigurd?”
“Freedom, respect, honor, dignity. Everyone deserves dignity, she would say. Even slaves. And she meant it.”
“She… She sounds wise.”
He laughs, his voice reverberating across the empty hall. A hollow sound, filled with loss, not with joy.
“You would say that, wouldn’t you? You who thinks like her.”
I stay silent. I hadn’t realized I’d just called myself wise.
“I would not call myself wise,” I say. “Nor compare myself to your lady.”
“You may be defiant, disobedient, and shortsighted, my dear. But you are a Volva for a reason. You are touched.”
“Thank you.”
Last time I saw Sigurd, he was shouting in my face, covering me with spit. Now, he is giving me compliments. This hall rolls like the waves of the ocean, in and out like the tide. Even so, a spark of pride glows in my chest. My jarl still respects me. It’s not all over.
“I need your loyalty, Kilda. You need to prove to me where you stand.”
“With you, Jarl Sigurd.”
I say the words, because I enjoy breathing. But I’m not even sure if I mean it anymore. Sigurd has been good. He has been fair. Yet Njord harassing Eidunn meant nothing to him. Meant nothing to Vidar.
Then again, Njord never hurt Eidunn. I seem to forget that. I need to remember.
“Show me,” he insists.
“Anything you require.”
“Anything?” he says, raising a doubtful eyebrow as a smile grows on his face.
“I… I am…” I can’t control my grin. He knows what I want to say, so I say it. “Almost.”
We both laugh.
“My wife would have liked you.”
“I would have liked her,” I whisper as I bow my head.
“She would have taken you under her wing, made you even more rebellious than you are.”
“Please, my jarl, I am no rebel.”
