“You don’t lie? You’ve literally lived here for two years to steal a ring from the jarl. You’re a hidden Jotnar, for fuck’s sake.”
“That’s different.”
Tears press behind my eyes. My chest feels hollow. Everything is gone. Thyra is dead. Ari is the last log I have to keep my fire going. What am I without him? Vidar’s victim.
“Who will she hurt, Ari?” I ask, softer now. My voice sounds wrong even in my own ears. Small. Afraid. “Who?”
My throat squeezes tight. Of course he won’t fucking tell me. Why would he? I’m just the girl he dries off. The girl he wipes clean. The girl who warms his bed. A distraction. Some lighthearted entertainment. Fuck it all.
“Oh, gods,” I say, pressing my palms into my eyes. “Itisher, isn’t it? Some queen cracks her whip and you crawl after her like a tamed dog?”
“Kilda—”
“Shut it!” I snap, stabbing a finger at him. “Don’t Kilda me. You promised we would flee. You promised?—”
“I meant it.”
“Then what… why?”
“I need the ring. Then I am free. She promised.”
“Fuck her!”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Who is she to you?” I scream, louder than intended.
“She… She is… She’s like my mother.”
My face screws up. Mother? The word rattles my brain. Too soft. Not witch? Not warrior queen? He’s a Jotnar skald and this woman he calls his “mother” controls him? Is he serious? I huff.
“If this is some sick game to you?—”
“She adopted me as a child, along with many?—”
“You think I’m stupid!” My voice cracks. “You think I don’t see your plan? As soon as you get your grimy fingers on the ring, you’ll run back to her. I’ll be left here waiting for Vidar to gut me.”
Maybe I deserve it. The gods haven’t spared me any pain. And I cause it by the bucket. Thyra, Njord… Who else will die for my mistakes? In any case—I’m fucking dead. Worse even, I’ll be tortured. I should flee. I should?—
“Never. I promise I?—”
“Save it,” I spit. “Save your oaths for your queen.”
He shuts his eyes tight. I hope he’s fucking hurting. Let him feel like I do. I lean close to his ear.
“You fucking liar,” I whisper.
“I never lied.”
I bark an insulting laugh.
“You lied every time you looked at me. Every word you spoke.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I’m a fucking slave, Ari. Life isn’t fair.”
He reaches out for me. Gently. His eyes display sadness. Loneliness. Good. Let him wallow in it like a pig in shit. He strokes my arm.
