“Ylvin,” I say. “I don’t mean to be rude but?—”
“You aren’t rude, you’re asking a question. Ask it.”
“Is all Seidr magic so sexual?”
She looks into the air.
“Seidr is many things. Sexuality is one of many portals to acquire understanding of magic. It happens to be my favorite.”
No surprise there. I can tell. She seems mildly obsessed, if I was to be honest. Ylvin looks into the air with a grin.
“I have Elof, you know. I didn’t know intimacy before him. You could almost say our relationship allowed me to unlock my powers. At least beyond…”
She stops, shaking her head. How can she possibly end her sentence there?
“Beyond what?”
“Never mind. You will learn.”
So mysterious. I suppress a huff.
“Okay, but why?—”
“Why am I asking you all these horny questions?”
“Exactly.”
“My darling,” she says with a smile one might give a crying child. “You are strong. I can tell. You are independent—I love that. You are a fierce young woman.”
“Thank you.”
I’ll take it. She thinks more highly of me than I thought.
“But,” she continues. “You are all packed into a shell. Like an egg yolk that I can’t reach to have my breakfast. You get the point. You need to open up.”
“Open up?”
“Yes, yes, yes. You wear a mask. You mask your thoughts, your feelings.”
What is she trying to say? Of course I mask my thoughts. What am I meant to do? Ramble on like a madwoman? Like her?
“I have to becau?—”
“Because you are living with other people. I know, darling, I know. But we are Volvas. We are not slaves. We are not nobleladies. Our honor is a gift from the gods, not the judgment of those around us.”
My eyes widen. She is right—we are not slaves. Silence. Maybe she isn’t so crazy after all. I hold my tongue, hoping she will keep speaking. So I can learn more.
“For men,” she goes on, “sex is a pleasure, an expectation, a simple action. They get to play with their bodies without ever knowing them. Women are forced to push it down, hide it in the depths. But we are Volvas. We know better. Our feminine bodies allow us to connect with nature—in the wild and with the wild—for we channel Freya. Even Odin touches us.”
“I… don’t…” It’s a lot to take in. A torrent of information. Hard to understand.
“So lose the mask. You are a goddess. And if you aren’t, play the part.”
“I will try to?—”
“Do you know why I interrupt you so much, Kilda?”
“I haven’t said you interru?—”
