“So, what happens now?” I said through hiccups.
It was Josh who answered. “I think we’ve had a lot of big emotions for one day. And if you all have more questions, we will talk about it. No secrets in this family, remember?”
“No secrets,” I repeated.
“But I think we have a party to get to.” Josh tickled Tinley, and her giggle broke through all the gloom and doom.
“Yeah,” Rayna looked down at herself. “We’re all dressed up. We must go.” She looked up at Kyler, who bent down to kiss her. She blushed, but kissed him back.
Patrick turned my face to his. “You still up for a little adventure?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I nodded.
“Great, let’s go, ladies.” We all stood up. The girls smoothed down their dresses. Kyler and Rayna exited first, Josh and Tinley close behind. We walked, nearly six across, through the underground walkway. Our voices bounced off the low ceiling, coming back to us louder than we expected, and we laughed at ourselves, easy and free. I thought of the group of friends in the last room at the Arte Museum—the way they had looked and laughed. They were a family; maybe I had finally found my own.
But maybe I was delusional and it would all somehow disappear, like my sister.
CHAPTER 31
PATRICK
Quad IV staff lined up along the entryway. Later, I discovered their hodgepodge of outfits depicted characters from Munchkin Land. The prop lollipops they held were bigger than their heads. A few were dressed as soldiers, spinning color guard rifles. As we walked down the hall, one by one they squawked, “Follow the yellow brick road!” in different accents.
“Follow the yellow brick road.” A house sub I recognized winked and grinned.
Rayna and Tinley were already beside themselves, giggling and pointing at the ridiculous display of costumes and makeup, answering each greeting with a “Thank you.”
When they each received a smaller version of the lollipops, they stepped through the gold-edged door into Oz.
Kylie gripped my hand. She hadn’t quite reached full little space yet. While the conversation went well, more discussion needed to be done. But not tonight. Tonight I wanted to enjoy my little girl. I wanted my little girl to enjoy herself.
“Follow the yellow brick road.” A soldier handed her a lollipop. She hesitated and looked up at me. I nodded.
“Thank you,” she said and tucked it into the front pocket of her overall dress. The rest of our group had already stepped through the opening. Leaving Kylie and me in the hallway. I looked down at my little girl, but her face displayed something other than excitement. Her lips turned downward. She fidgeted and looked around. Her feet tapped back and forth like she was rehearsing a secret dance. Anxious energy wafted off her, and Kylie wasn’t an anxious person. Typically, she’d have asked a few hundred questions, but she was surprisingly silent. I needed to do something.
We stepped past the entrance. Before she could protest, I pulled Kylie into a small equipment room and closed the door behind us.
“What’s wrong, Daddy?” While I appreciated the moniker, there was no feeling behind it. Kylie was all in her head, and she was happier when she was leading with her heart. As her daddy, it was my job to remind her.
“Nothing’s wrong, little sneak.” I perched myself up on a counter that ran the perimeter of three sides of the room pulling Kylie between my legs. “I just thought you might want a second to compose yourself. You’re not feeling especially little right now. Am I right?”
She sniffled and nodded. Her eyes pooled with tears, but she blinked them away. “I don’t know why. I want to be little.” The corners of her lips turned down. I leaned in and kissed the frown away on one side and then the other.
“I am so proud of you.” Pressing my lips to her forehead. “The way you owned up to your mistake and were open and honest with them was amazing.”
I pressed my lips to hers and she whimpered.
“But...” She didn’t continue.
“What’s wrong? What are you feeling?” I cradled the back of her head.
“I just don’t want to be big right now.” She laid her head on my chest. “Can you help me get into little space?”
“Of course, baby girl.” I kissed the top of her head. “Tell me what you need.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think maybe a spanking might do the trick.” I lifted her head to look into her eyes.
“Are you sure?”
