“Yeah,” I say with a small smile. “I thought if I could survive that, I could survive anything.”
“And then you didn’t stay.”
“No,” I admit. “Turns out, surviving and thriving aren’t the same thing.”
Something about that makes his mouth curve slightly. It’s not a smile. It’s more like recognition.
“Oncology is slower,” I continue. “Harder in some ways, but … steadier. I sleep better. I don’t feel like my body’s always bracing for impact.”
“That matters,” he says.
The elevator slows as we approach our floor. Neither of us moves away.
“You’re good at this,” he adds. “At reading people. Anticipating what they need.”
I swallow. “I learned the hard way.”
His jaw tightens like I’ve brushed against something tender.
“I can tell,” he says.
The doors open, and suddenly, the hallway is there. It’s bright, busy, real. The moment threatens to fade. But he doesn’t step away immediately.
“For what it’s worth,” he adds, lowering his voice, “the department’s lucky to have you.”
Heat blooms in my chest, unexpected and grounding, all at once.
“Thank you,” I say. “That means a lot. Coming from you.”
His eyes hold mine for a beat longer than necessary.
“Let’s get back,” he says finally.
We walk out together. Not touching, but not quite separate either.
Chapter Ten
Colton
Her hair looks different this morning. It’s not in her long, pulled-back ponytail. It’s in a messy bun on her head, and all I can see is the delicate curves of her neck.
Wrong.
Sick.
Stupid.
This is the widow of a patient I lost. I don’t let myself think about which patient.
I push away the memory of the sound of the monitor flatlining or the way she stood at the foot of the bed afterward.
I straighten my shoulders. I need to remain professional. Whatever guard I mistakenly let down was wrong.
Trudy says something at the nurses’ station. Melissa throwsher head back as she laughs aloud, a contagious laugh that has Megan, our unit secretary, joining in.
I walk in the opposite direction to my first patient’s room as I try to refocus on what needs to get done today.
The day becomes a series of charts. Orders. Brief exchanges.
