He sighs and nods a thanks to the college-aged waiter who delivers his whiskey on the rocks; Hayes gestures if I want one, and I shake my head. Water is safer, I need to focus.
“I’m trying to be a little more understanding because if I were in your shoes, then I would be losing my mind, too.”
He smiles softly. “Understanding sounds like you.You saw a wounded crab on the sand and worried about it for a solid five minutes. You don’t have an ounce of venom inside you.”
Creases form on my forehead because the tiny detail grabs me. “Can’t believe you remember that.”
Hayes moves his glass in a circle, appraising the ice cubes as they swirl. “Hard to forget.”
The sincerity dripping in his tone is overwhelming because deep down, my instincts tell me it's true.
“How do I know you won’t disappear? I can’t let Lola get attached just to be hurt.”
Hayes’s eyes nearly bug out, and he seems flabbergasted. “Do you really think I would do that? Likereally?” He isn’t at all impressed. “The man who literally, within two hours of finding out, was offeringlegaloptions to ensure that I see her and she is financially secure. The man you will be around a lot because of mutual friends and work. And you have the audacity to ask me that?”
My lips tighten, and I inhale. “Okay. You’ve had days to digest this. From the start, you were all in. I’m…” I glance down, nervously playing with a fork. “It’s not what I expected. Most men in your situation would demand a paternity test or something.”
“Why the hell would I?Let me highlightagainthat we will be around each other a lot and that there is no advantage to you in lying, nor do I sense that you would. Shall I point out how blatantly obvious it is that Lola is mine? One look is all it takes. A calendar makes it obvious, too.” He’s heating up a bit.
“You’re right. But having a child is a big life change.”
“Elodie, you are right. Being a father hadn’t exactly crossed my mind lately. But that papa-bear internal-instinct bullshit is legit. So here I am.”
At last, I crack, my jaw tense and the corner of my mouth stretching. “It is real,” I assure him, voice low. “That’s why I’m mama bear right now.”
We offer each other a comforting look.
Inside of me blooms what I can relate to. “I get it.”
One flick and his eyes dart straight into me. “We have a lot to unpack, eh.”
“We do,” I agree.
Another waiter arrives with a few dishes of food to share. A tossed salad, breadsticks, ravioli, and a slice of tiramisu.
I frown, but at the same time, I try to fight a grin. “Feeding an army?”
He chuckles as we are left alone again. “I figured we might be here a while and might need fuel for our discussion.”
“Smart.”
He leans back and shows little interest in food; he studiesme up and down, and I begin to feel self-conscious. “How is the cousin who married your prom date?”
“Filing for divorce,” I say blandly. “How is your dad, who told you to be reckless? I’m not sure he would have suggested an unexpected pregnancy as part of his advice, but still.” I lift a shoulder.
Hayes bites the inside of his cheek, and I must have said something because a shade of vulnerability appears. “He passed, actually. A heart attack. Last year.”
Sympathy fills me. I touch my chest. "I’m sorry to hear." He spoke about him a few times that night; they were close.
He begins to smile faintly to himself. “Maybe that’s why I’m jumping in? Something to do with that. Not having a father anymore. He was a good man, humble, and did his best to give me opportunities. If I can give Lola opportunities, I will. He for sure influenced me to ensure family comes first.”
I slide around the circular booth to be close enough to comfort him, and I consider touching his arm. “Sounds like it.”
My fingers give in and imprint on his arm, my thumb stroking that spot between his expensive watch and his elbow. That feeling that my body hasn’t forgotten, the thrill of being around someone I’m attracted to, with not a care in the world. Hayes pats the top of my hand in appreciation of the comfort.
“You still smell of coconut,” he mentions faintly. Wow. He remembers a lot, apparently.
The memories of the island come back. At times, we ignored everything but that moment. Except it’s different this time when reality hits. We are now two people responsible for a child. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but this is by no means easy.
