Feeling my cheeks warm, I recognize that my body is reacting to him.In truth, both versions of him have the ability to suck me in. “That’s a dangerous thing to ask,” I rasp with honesty. Either way, he’s intriguing, and either way, I’m well aware that deep down, he is the same man I have always shared a strong sexual attraction with.
It took only a few hours on an island to end up spending a night with him. A few weeks have passed since I first saw him again, and though the chemistry is still strong, I've hesitated to act on it, even though his signals have been clear that he’s open to it.
“Let me tell you a theory I have,” he begins and taps my wrist. I swallow a single nerve because there is a high chance he will be spot-on. “You have two sides, too. One is when you have a backbone to level with me. The other hesitates and you fight with yourself, and it shows. Elodie, you give everything for our daughter. You do all the right things. Work, home, and being a good friend. But you don’t ever do something for yourself.”
“Of course I?—”
“Uh-uh, let me finish. You overthink and end up stopping yourself from enjoying life. You are still allowed to do that, you know.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I attempt to protest, even though he is blatantly right. The words catch when I feel him slide his hand onto my thigh under the table. My resolve for the evening begins to crumble, and from the way his eyes flick up to meet mine, he probably already knows it.
"We're doing this. You know it too. Neither of us can let go of the idea. A chance or just reliving a memory.”
I remain mute.
“Elodie, we’ve kissed. You felt something too.” He leans in, his mouth close to my ear, and the space between us shrinks. “If I’m wrong, then tell me now; otherwise, I’ll make a damn vow that I won’t relent until you explore it,” he threatens with a whisper, and it feels like a taunt, too. A persuasive, makes-my-center-weak taunt.
I try to focus on taking a deep breath to regain composure, but it doesn’t do much. Turning my head slightly, our faces are far too close for public. Our sewn-together eyes send a clear message that we are both trapped in a circle.
“Excuse me.” My voice is collected. I swing my legs to the side and hop down from the chair. I walk in the direction of the bathroom, and I feel his attention still on me.
This is my life today. I need to flee to the bathroom to throw water on my face because Hayes does all the right things to make a woman melt.
The moment the door to the bathroom closes behind me, I lunge to the sleek and modern sink and turn the faucet on. It seems that I’m all alone, as the two stalls are open. After a quick splash, I pat my face dry with the nearby cloth hand towels, then toss it into the wicker laundry basket under the sink. Pulling a tube of lipstick out of my pocket, I lean over the sink to apply.The shade is calledDangerously Red,and it couldn’t be more fitting.
Especially when I’m not sure this is a red-flag moment at all.
Because when the door swings open, Hayes appears. He closes the door and pauses when he is about to flip the lock. I freeze with my lipstick still held up and stare at him through the mirror.
“A bit pointless. It will only be coming off. Don’t you think? You didn’t answer me about exploring our chemistry. Last chance, Elodie. Otherwise, I’m locking this.”
All I have to do is say it. Remind him of this bad idea.
But now? Mr. Theory of My Life has a point and already used the key to unlock the part of me that is freeing.
I do everything for everyone else. I overthink responsibility, to the point that I deny myself possibilities. Of course I share the same thought as him. It isn't even a thought, it's a feeling that I want to either remember or hope with him. All of these things push and pull at me, and at some point, I'm going to break.
And that time has come.
His eyes remain pinned on me, and my heart races because I’m going to do something for me. “You’re right,” I rasp weakly.
He clicks the lock and begins to walk my way with swagger; he’s hunting, and it’s for me.
I toss my lipstick and hear the sound of it landing somewhere in the sink.
I wouldn’t know because I’m too quick to meet him halfway and allow our lips to slam together.
12
ELODIE
It’s the way that I want it. Hayes’s kisses are anything but soft. And because we are both equally kissing like starved people, then I’m not sure who is more desperate for the other. One thing doesn’t make sense to me, though. He makes my heart race, but I somehow feel calm with him in this moment.
We’ve kissed already since he’s been back, but this has more reverence.
His tongue strokes mine with insistence as I fist his blazer to hang on. Then things only escalate. It’s one angle in one kiss, then a new angle in another. His hands cradle my head, and I’m giving zero signs that I’m going to pull away.
All because I desperately want this. He's occupied my mind non-stop, and he has the key to open every single door inside me.
