Instead of feeling relieved or happy for it, I was numb.
She hadn’t asked me if I was happy. She hadn’t inquired about the groom. All that mattered was that I had a ring on my finger.
I looked down at the gold band that Gideon had slipped on my finger, touching the underside of it with my thumb.
“Well, we’re going to have to get a bigger cabin for our family trip,” she said, coming back to the call. “And I have to meet him! What’s he like? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I didn’t even get to make a speech! Your father and I always dreamed of singing at your wedding. We’ll have to have a do-over reception. Christine will do the flowers.”
I made vaguely appropriate noises and waitedfor my mother to run out of steam. She eventually told me she had to run, after having asked me exactly zero questions about myself. I hung up the phone and tossed it aside, then got up off the bed and ate three servings of lasagna.
It was delicious, because I’d married a fantastic cook. Damn Gideon for being the perfect man. I found Knox’s number and texted him about the lasagna. A minute later, the door creaked open, and he gave me a little half-smile. He ate half the pan then patted his stomach. “Good stuff,” he said in his usual low grunt.
“Gideon made it,” I said as I cleared his plate. “I can’t take credit.”
He nodded, watching me. “We’ll find out who did that to your car,” he told me quietly. “Anything you need, Sadie. You’re one of us now.”
My throat clogged up, and all I could do was keep my eyes on the dishes. I nodded, listening to Knox’s footsteps fade as he went back to his post outside. Through the windows, I saw him get in his car and get comfortable. My own car had materialized beside his; someone had driven it over. I could see the scratches on the side from here. I slumped down on the sofa and buried my head in my hands.
I should’ve been grateful for the Mars clan’s protection. I’d never had anyone—let alone a whole group of people—accept me so easily. Now they were spending their time and energy making sure I was safe. Contrast that with my own family, who only accepted me now that I was married. They didn’t even care to whom.
I so badly wanted to stay here. I wanted Caroline as a friend. I wanted to get gossip from Mrs. Gretzinger. I wantedSunday family lunches and Scooby-Doo mysteries involving spray-painted breasts. I didn’t even mind the vandalism on my car if it meant I belonged somewhere.
But Ididmind the constant rejection from the man I’d married. A man who was perfect in every way, other than the fact that he didn’t want me back.
Leaving would save my sanity and my heart…but it would mean admitting to my own family that my marriage had failed. I would go back to being an outcast and a failure. Only worthy of an air mattress or a pull-out couch.
I went to bed early and fell asleep. Alone.
GIDEON
The house was dark and silent when I drove up, waved at Knox through the windshield, and parked outside. I crept inside and listened at the mouth of the hallway for evidence that she was awake. I hadn’t seen her in almost six hours, and the need to touch her made me twitchy and uncomfortable.
Behind her closed door, there was only silence.
Despite my aching back, I took my position on the couch and lay there, staring at the ceiling, wanting her.
But the only way to keep myself whole was to maintain my distance. A woman like her would tire of me as soon as she’d recovered from whatever had landed her here. She wouldn’t want to stay with someone deformed and broken.
Better to guard my own heart while she figured that out on her own.
SEVENTEEN
SADIE
I woke up to a hot half-sweet almond milk matcha latte waiting for me on the kitchen counter and tried to pretend it didn’t make my heart go all gooey inside. Then, despite my protests, Gideon went with me to the nearest city of Ellsworth so I could buy what I needed.
“You’re leasing the place?” he asked when we were on the road.
“Not yet,” I hedged. “Your grandma is letting me use it to make Lola’s dress.”
He nodded, eyes on the road. He’d insisted on driving us in his car, reminding me that someone had made threats against me, and I’d only weakly protested. Now I was ensconced in a car that smelled like him, aware of every shift of his body, being lulled by the smooth, easy way he drove, and I regretted my decision.
Every minute I spent with him made me like him more. Ithad to be some kind of self-destructive instinct in me. Why would I besointo someone who didn’t want me back?
“You thinking of restarting your business here?” Gideon asked a few minutes later. He glanced at me then back at the road. “Not really a huge market for wedding dresses here.”
“Not yet,” I said, laughing, which made his lips twitch. “But seriously, most trade is online these days. And I have this idea…” I shook my head.
“Tell me.”
