GIDEON
I’d been a selfish piece of shit, and I was ashamed of myself.As Sadie slept beside me and her tears left traces of salt on my chest, I wondered if I’d just ruined everything. I’d hurt her, and I hadn’t even noticed.
If she left after this, I would have only myself to blame.
TWENTY-SIX
SADIE
We didn’t try again. In fact, Gideon didn’t initiate sex with me at all. He refused to continue with the bait plan and instead parked one of his brothers with me whenever I wanted to go out. I tried not to spiral about him wanting to avoid me and mostly failed.
I kept working on Lola’s dress, because what else was I going to do? She’d still be going to homecoming, and making her dress was the only thing that felt good anymore.
Sunday lunch was the same as always, with a little more spiciness due to the Mr. Titty business. Gideon loomed beside me, silent. Glenn, Connor, and Lola were chastened and reserved. I suspected Bennett found the whole thing hilarious and was waiting for the minimum amount of time to pass so he could start cracking jokes about it. I felt like an anthropologist observing a clan from the outside.
Always on the outside.
Day bled into day, and I felt the fraying of the threadsthat held us together. When I kissed him, Gideon kissed me back, and we did have sex, but it didn’t feel the same. He was holding back. Sometimes it seemed like he was afraid of hurting me, checking in a thousand times if I told him I wanted to try a finger or a toy. But other times, I wondered if he’d realized what the future held if we were to stay together. What never having penetrative sexreallymeant for him.
Maybe he just wasn’t that interested in me anymore.
Our sixth week of marriage started and plodded onward. On Friday, we would either decide to file the certificate or go our separate ways.
And I was still a coward, because I hadn’t been able to broach the subject with Gideon at all. The sick feeling in my gut got stronger with every passing hour, sure that this was as close as I’d ever get to a happily-ever-after of my own.
By Thursday morning, I woke up and wondered if I’d imagined everything. The unbearable ache in my heart was my only evidence that at one point, I’d thought Marswood Harbor was forever. I’d thought Gideon was forever.
If I stayed here, I’d have to take Etta’s investment offer. I couldn’t afford to reopen my business without her, and there weren’t exactly a ton of jobs in town.
But if she gave me money, I’d be beholden to her. If Gideon told her he was sick of me, she could ruin my life.
Gideon snored softly as I extricated myself from his hold. I’d tossed and turned for the first half of the night and didn’t feel particularly rested. Bleary, I pawed at the nightstand and found my phone. My vision cleared as I saw a notification on the screen that caught myinterest.
It was from my nearly dead business email; an inquiry had come in from my website.
SUBJECT: Need three wedding dresses (URGENT)
Leaning on my elbow with my back to Gideon, I swiped at my phone and read the email. My heart began to thrum. A big-name wedding coordinator had emailed me on behalf of one of her clients. The bride’s dresses had been flown in from Paris and had been destroyed in shipping. They were unrecoverable, and the original designers wouldn’t be able to get new ones made in time. She was desperately contacting any designer local to Manhattan for replacements.
The amount of money she was offering was eye watering. Nearly triple what I would have charged for each dress…and she wanted three of them. It was enough money to lease Life’s a Stitch, give me some wiggle room to re-establish my brand online, and start over.
Without Etta.
Without strings.
With the most precious thing of all—options.
All at once, I realized what I wanted, and it wasn’t to slink away and lick my wounds. I wanted Gideon. I wanted to stay and fight for him, for us, because he was the love of my life.
And I wanted my business. The magic hadn’t gone out of weddings for me—it had been hidden beneath layers of insecurity and angst. I’d been so worried about myself, my marital status, and my failures that I’d forgotten what brought me joy.
I loved making women feel beautiful. I loved coming up with an idea and seeing it come to life on a dress form and thenon a bride. I loved teary hugs and follow-up photos from my brides’ big days.
And maybe I could expand. Seeing Lola light up had been the first thing that had made me feel like I was part of this town. Like maybe I had a future here, as part of this family. I had Ida Gretzinger’s phone number, and I’d been working on that idea of a wedding dress retreat.
My business had failed once, but I could try again. I could lease the place, renovate it, and start over. The overheads would be a fraction of what they’d been before.
And if Etta refused to lease the space without the investment deal, I’d find some other space that she didn’t own. Because I’d have enough money to make it on my own!
