Chapter One
To fully understand thesituation I’m in, we’d have to go back fifteen years, and start there. It all started when I met her.Gloria. She’s my best friend. She’s the person I’ve always turned to when I needed help or advice, and I was always the same for her. She’s the one I saw every movie release of the last decade with… no, wait, that’s not true. Five years ago, she made a decision. That decision changed my life along with hers. I managed a few years in the same town as her, but it was too fucking hard, so I moved on.
I left the place I’d been born in, had grown up in, had fallen in love in, and had my heart broken in.
Phoenix MC is giving me a reason to live again, but how do I get my heart back from the woman I gave it to five years ago? I never got it back. I didn’t want it back, because she didn’t give me hers in return.
“Man, you’re wallowing again. Do you need to go see your girl?” I sighed heavily, tipping back the last of my beer.
“She’s not my girl.”
Rocket frowned at me, and that man saw way too much, understood more than I wanted him to, and always put words to the things I was trying to keep hidden in the silence.
“You want her to be, man. What’s holding you back?”
A week ago, Gloria called me in a panic, needed rescuing, and what did I do? I dropped everything. That’s what you do for friends, and even more, that’s what you do for people you love.
I always wondered why she cut off contact with me when she got married to him, but I get it now. That’s what he was doing to her. It started with isolating her from friends and family, and it ended with that traumatised, beaten woman, who huddled in the doorway and waited for me to save her.
I’ll always fucking save her.
“Grow some balls, man. I hear they like that.”
Withering glares didn’t work on my man Rocket, but I loved that about him. He was a straight to the point kind of guy. He didn’t beat around the bush or hold back. He didn’t mince his words. If something had to be said, he would say it. Him and his old lady were so alike in that way.
“It’s not that simple, brother. She’s still trying to process everything and come to terms with it. I’m not a predator slinking around in the background waiting to jump on her.”
He grinned. “But you want to be.”
Did I? Jesus, at this point, I had no idea. What I did know was that I’d put her first. Always and for the rest of my life. If she didn’t choose me? If she never chose me? I might hide from seeing her daily again, but I’d still be her rock, her saviour. I’d still run if she needed my help.
“I’m such a pussy. I’m literally a doormat for her.”
Rocket slapped my back, nearly chipping my tooth on the beer bottle I’d just raised to my mouth.
“Fuck’s sake!”
“Ask her to kiss it better.”
“It’s not LIKE that!”
Someone stepped up behind us in the corner of the demolished yard, where we were both sitting facing the empty field to the left of the grounds, and we both froze. We were supposed to be on prospect duty, and we were slacking. By the sound of those heavy boots behind us, we’d just been caught. We both wanted our forever cuts, we both wanted Phoenix colours for the rest of our lives.
For me, it was a new thing, a new goal, but for Rocket, it was him trying to regain what he’d thrown away. Over, you’ve guessed it, a woman. Maybe all we did was make ourselves doormats for women, because if we have to beg for their love, maybe we’re willing to do whatever it takes.
“Prospects. You’re needed back on gate duty.” I groaned, struggling up from the dusty ground, and turned to face Micro, the Club President.
“What about Joey and Simon?”
He shrugged. “Sent them on a run for more building supplies. Get over there.”
I sighed heavily, starting on my way to the gate, while Rocket grumbled to Micro.
“Nobody’s coming and going until they get back, Pres. Can’t we just take a breather for five?”
“Why don’t you take that question to the prospect complaints department, dickhead?”
I grinned. We both knew that was his way of saying suck it up and do your job. Rocket at least only had two weeks of this. I had almost another two months after he was done. Still, it could be worse. I’d heard horror stories of some of the things they made prospects do, and even back at my old club, when I was younger, I’d had a fairly easy run. Of course, back then, I’d also had Gloria to complain to each time we got together. She was my ‘prospectcomplaints department’ and she got righteously angry on my behalf, and laughed over the funny moments with me.
