“Glory, I’m doing my best here. I’m trying to give you what you need, whether that’s time, or company, or god, I don’t know, okay? All I know is you can’t let some meatheaded comment from some dickhead make you assume things about me!”
She nodded again, and I fucking hated these silent responses of hers. I wanted her to speak, even if she yelled at me, just because this felt like some kind of fearful acquiescence rather than actual agreement. It felt like she was accepting my words because she thought she didn’t have a right to argue back.
“Glory…” my voice was a damn whisper now, and I felt like I was losing her, second by second. Hell, even though Lissa was literally in my home, I felt like I was Glory’s only lifeline, and I was failing her. Not understanding her, not comprehendingher fears, because how the hell could I? I’d never been in her position, and I didn’t even know what her position was, but I knew it shouldn’t have happened. The fact that I might have been able to prevent it was going to destroy me.
“I had such a crush on you,” she suddenly whispered, her eyes widening as she slipped her fingers over her lips, trying to silence words that had already escaped. She what? Suddenly all I felt was hope.
Glory
Ijust said that,and from the look on his face, there was no taking it back now. Why did I just blurt that out? Why didn’t I consider the effect it’d have on him? He looked like he thought I was declaring my undying love for him or something. I wasn’t. I couldn’t right now. It didn’t mean that I’d forgotten those feelings, because being here with him was reminding me of all the reasons I felt them.
His sweetness. The way he was so open and clear about his feelings, and always seemed to announce what he thought were his shortcomings, even though they were anything but. He put everything out there when he spoke, regardless of the damage it’d do to him. And I’d just done the same.
I’d just blurted out words that I couldn’t take back, and I’d hurt him whether I did or didn’t. Tears burned my eyes as I stared at him, both hands over my mouth now.
He seemed to be struck silent too, and when Lissa appeared a few moments later, she took one look at us and realised that wewere stuck in some kind of stalemate, with both of us too afraid to speak.
“I don’t know which of you to speak to first. Something just happened, didn’t it? Whatever it is, we can fix it. Talking things out is the best way to resolve any issues.”
Nate glanced at her and dragged a hand through his long dark hair. Every time he did that, it reminded me that he’d had short hair when we were together all the time. He’d changed so much in the years I’d been in hell, and I really didn’t know him that well anymore.
“I uh… why don’t you guys take my office,” he said finally, his eyes meeting mine again for the briefest moment, a soft smile on his face. He didn’t know it, or wouldn’t admit it at least, but he had the slightest dimple in his left cheek when he smiled certain smiles. This was one of them.
“I… I’m sorry,” I whispered, and he lifted a hand.
“No apologies needed. Take as long as you want. I’ll try and corral that bunch of louts downstairs.”
“They were helping themselves to your bar,” Lissa said with a wry grin, watching him groan and run for the man cave.
“I just said something so cruel.”
Lissa caught my hand and led me in the direction of the office, a room I’d actually never been in before, but clearly she had. Had she spent time here with him? Did she know him, while I was still trying to figure him out?
“It’s natural to say some wrong things while you’re working through how you’re feeling, Gloria, and if he’s pressuring you in any way-”
“He’s not! I think I just did that to him.”
Lissa frowned at me. “I think you might need to explain that one. I’m intuitive, but not that intuitive.” She followed her words with a gentle smile, but she didn’t need to, because there was no way she meant it any other way than gently.
I chewed my thumbnail, dodging her eyes, because if I said this then I couldn’t take it back. I would be putting it out there in the universe, but then hadn’t I done that already? Hadn’t I already said it to the one person who should never have heard it?
“Gloria.”
“Glory,” I corrected, going back to biting my nail. Her fingers rested on my mine, easing my hand from my mouth.
“That’s what Henley calls you, but you asked me to call you Gloria. Can you explain that?”
I wished it was that easy.
“I was Glory until Sean. He… destroyed everything that’d made me deserve that name. For so long, I just imagined that he was right, that I’d never been worthy of it. Nate makes me feel like maybe the old me isn’t gone forever.”
Lissa smiled, nodding at me as I hesitated, wondering whether to continue.
“Back in the day, when Nate and I were hanging out all the time, best friends… my feelings for him were changing. He was so sweet, so fun, so attractive. I… I had a big crush, but he uh,ugh!”I rolled my eyes at myself. “Why am I being so pathetic about this? I had a crush, he didn’t. The end. I met Sean, and he was hitting on me, and I figured, you know, at least someone wants me. It was flattering, and it took me too long to realise that he wasn’t the good one. By then it was too late.”
Lissa was smiling at me, like I’d said something brilliant, instead of admitting that I went for the wrong guy because I was hurt, and crushed by unrequited feelings.
“I didn’t say anything good right then,” I grumbled at her and she laughed. A light relaxed sound that I envied, because being relaxed wasn’t something that I’d been familiar with for so long.
