“They’re like that all the time, by the way. It’s just their thing.”
She snorted. “They’re so alike. Are we sure they’re not actually related?”
“That’s gross, but then, maybe that’s just how it is in their family.”
We both started to laugh, as I bastardised a line from another movie we love; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Our good, relaxed moods lasted until our guests had left, and then the awkwardness settled back in almost instantly.
“Glory, don’t,” I whispered, watching her backing up into the hallway, almost fading into the shadows right in front of me.
“I’m trying not to,” she replied, just as softly, her fists clenched by her sides.
“I’m no threat to you. I couldn’t be.”
She nodded. “My brain knows that, my heart knows it… but my body seems to keep going for fight or flight when we’re alone. I don’t… I’m not afraid of you, but…”
“Being alone with me is a problem,” I said flatly, glancing at the door again, “do you want to be living somewhere else?”
“No! My god, stop trying to fix everything, N… Henley! You can’t rush this or shape me into what you want me to be right now. I’m trying!”
“I’m not… I’m not trying to do anything for my own benefit. I just want you to be okay.”
“Well, I’m not.”
I swallowed hard, not willing to lose my shit in front of her, either with rage or fucking fear. I felt like I was losing her, and just an hour ago things felt normal.
Glory
Iwas destroying him.I could see it happening in increments, every fallen smile, every extra crease in his brow, every extra sag in his shoulders. He was losing faith. Losing his belief that I could be fixed, and among all of that, he worried that he was getting this wrong. That he was pushing me too hard, or breaching limits we’d never discussed.
“I want to cook tomorrow,” I insisted, trying to find a boundary and set it in place, trying to start us off with something we could both accept or build upon.
He looked surprised by my sudden declaration, but nodded, stepping into the hallway I’d retreated into.
“I’m good with that. Need me to shop for anything?” Oh god, did I? What if I tried to make something and the ingredients weren’t all there? What if I burned it? What if it wasn’t tasty enough, and he realised-
A soft hand cupped my chin, breaking the disturbing train of thought as my eyes met his. I saw so much concern and sorrow there that I think it broke the last pieces of my heart. The parts that Sean didn’t destroy, I just did that to myself, by being so broken that I was breaking my best friend too.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, his thumb landing on my bottom lip as it quivered.
“Nope. No sorries. Let me show you what we have in the kitchen, then you can tell me what you need, and Glory? When I say tell me, I mean fucking demand it. Stomp your sassy little foot, fold those arms, and glare at me until I do your bidding. Be the goddess I know you are.”
I leaned back against the wall, his proximity overwhelming me, but not in a threatening way. There was something comforting about his closeness, something that softened the tension in my bones, and allowed me to feel safe.
“I hate disappointing you,” I said softly, my lips still brushing his thumb because he’d moved with me, and was still holding me. There was nothing friendly about it, because it felt like more, but it also didn’t feel unfriendly. It was all so confusing. My senses were so accustomed to fear and panic, that they didn’t seem to know what to do in the wake of his gentleness.
“You could never disappoint me, Glory. I’m always here for you. I’m glad you called me when you got out, although I’m still unclear on how that happened, but I’ll keep you safe. You’re safe with me, and I mean that. There’s no threat to your safety from anyone, including me.”
“A charity helped me, I mean you know that, but it’s… I think I was meant to run into her that day, because she gave me the lifeline I think I was desperate for, because there was no way out otherwise. I mean, you said you didn’t know everything, so I’m sharing more. I was… I guess praying for something to end thatlife for me, and she was… my saviour. A less bloody way out, at least for me. Not so much for him.”
Henley practically choked on his breath, both hands cupping my face, their warmth seeping into my skin to chase away the bone-deep cold that had been my cage for so long.
“Fucking hell. Thank god she found you! Thank every fucking god. You were… you’re… you don’t feel that way now, right? You know there’s a future, and safety, and happiness now. Right? No reason to leave?”
I swallowed against the torrent of emotion that filled my throat as I watched panic and pure dread fill him at my words.
“I didn’t say it to-”
