He sighed. “Like I said. It’s been always. I can’t remember a time when I just saw you as a friend, but you didn’t want me, and I had to respect that. You chose-”
“A monster! I chose the one who I thought wanted me, when the one I wanted didn’t!”
His breath caught, and he grabbed my good hand, squeezing it a little too tightly for comfort, but my focus was on the torrentof emotions he seemed to visibly suffer through. Shock. Sadness. Panic. Frustration. Definitely anger. And then back to sadness, no, more like horror.
“It’s my fault.”
Ugh. Of course he went there. I tugged on his hand, and when he lifted his tormented eyes, I pointed at the bed.
“In. Now.”
He blinked rapidly, getting up and moving sluggishly around the bed, sliding under the covers in his jeans and t-shirt. Idiot.
“You’re a little overdressed for bed, Henley.”
He studied his fingers with a little more concentration than I think they needed, but I think it was more about dodging me, or seeing what I’m feeling. Suggesting he sat beside me was a mistake, because I couldn’t see him.
“Fuck this.” I threw the covers off, and scrambled over them, straddling his lap in my damn underwear, and the light top I’d worn beneath the jumper. I couldn’t have worn leather jeans to bed, so yeah… me in my undies.
“Look me in the eye, Henley. This isn’t a conversation to have with your damn hands.”
The hands were now up in the air, but floating at our sides, like he didn’t know what to do with them.
“My hands make better sense than my mouth,” he finally said, and I smiled in response to his cute grin.
“This isn’t a joke either,” I said gently, and he nodded.
“I just feel like I’ve loved you forever, and if I’d just fucking grown some balls and told you, none of it would have happened. Hell maybe we’d have been together all these years, happy and safe.”
Suddenly I felt the need to be cute, since he’d been the one having all the fun.
“Wait, you don’t have any balls? That’s a dealbreaker, Henley.”
He blinked, then came the beautiful laughter. God, I loved that laugh. So free and happy, a little chaotic, but filled with relief.
“Going to have to hug you, sweetheart, just go with it. We both need this.”
I eagerly leaned forward as he tugged me firmly against his chest, his arms tight around me, but guess what else was suddenly pressed incredibly close together? Oh yeah. Those parts. There may have been his jeans and our underwear between us, but we both instantly gasped, and our eyes met.
“Huh.”
“What?” I asked him, watching him wet his lips in what I hoped was anticipation.
“We’ve uh… never sat like this before, but I like it. It’ll make it hard to watch TV together, but maybe we can figure that one out, because if we-”
I pressed my lips against his, because of all the ways to stop him babbling, I was starting to think this would be the most successful and enjoyable way.
Henley’s arms tightened around me, and his lips moved, teasing mine and deepening the kiss, as we both gave ourselves to it, and took what should have been ours years ago. This should always have been where our friendship led to, and it would have been if either of us had been brave enough to speak up. To risk everything.
Henley groaned, tugging me closer, his hands moving to my hips as he ground me against him, and then instantly froze, pulling back from our kiss.
Chapter Twenty-One
She was in mylap, and my senses were screaming that at me, over and over, because this is all I’d wanted since the day we fucking met. But I was taking liberties, pushing too hard, and risking rushing things just to get off. Maybe I really was the asshole.
“Sorry,” I murmured, pecking her lips again before I pulled back again. She looked about as dazed as I felt, her lips kiss-swollen and forming into a smile.
“For what? That was amazing.”
