She lets out a shaky breath.“I don’t know if I can see a therapist right away.It might take a while to find someone, and work is?—”
“Whenever you’re ready,” I interrupt gently.“No pressure.I’m not going anywhere.”
Another long pause.Then: “Okay.”It comes out as barely a whisper, but there’s something solid underneath it.A choice.A step forward.“Okay, I’ll try.”
The small, quiet words light my whole heart up.
Bailey
It’s beenthree weeks since I cried in my apartment over photos that were supposed to make me feel beautiful.Three weeks since he dropped to his knees and promised to give me pebbles.Three weeks since I said “I’ll try.”
I haven’t found a therapist yet.My calendar has been a nightmare—the Martha’s Vineyard trip ran long, then there was an emergency in the Western Mass project.I told myself I’d start looking after things calmed down.
Things haven’t calmed down.
But Silas hasn’t pushed.He texts me every morning—sometimes it’s just a coffee emoji, sometimes it’s a photo of Echo doing something ridiculous, sometimes it’sYou’re beautiful and I hope you have a great day.Little pebbles, just like he promised.
That familiar cowbell clangs as I walk into On the Rocks.Friday night, and the place is packed.I’ve come to Here for the weekend, staying with Hunter this time.
My mom protested, but since I stayed with them last time I was in town—or at least, the last time I was in town that they knew about—I could beg off.Plus Hunter’s place is closer to Silas’s and it means I won’t have to deal with my mother and her food issues first thing in the morning.
Silas and I don’t have a plan for how to get some time alone together, but we’ll figure it out.
Hunter and Morgan are behind the bar and busy, but they both shout my name when I come in.I lean over the bar for a quick kiss on the cheek from my brother.“Silas and Kit are in the game room if you wanna hang with them,” he shouts at me.
I go around the corner and into the back room where the dartboard and pool table live.Since it’s ski season, the black rubber mats are on the floor and everything’s slightly wet.It’s late enough that most people are out of their ski gear, but there’s still piles of jackets and the occasionalclunk-clunk-clunkof someone walking around with their ski boots on.
I spot Silas immediately at a high-top with Kit and a couple other people I know.Our eyes meet across the room and something electric passes between us.I’ve been back in Here for all of two hours and already feel the full-body anticipation.
Kit gives me the giant hug Morgan and Hunter were too busy to give me, lifting me slightly off the ground with his enthusiasm.“Bailey!Finally!”
Then Silas.He steps in for a hug—quick, friendly, the kind you’d give your best friend’s sister.But his hand lingers for half a second at my lower back, his thumb brushing against my spine through my shirt, and it takes everything in me not to lean into him.
“Hey,” he says, his voice lower than necessary.“Good to see you.”
“You too.”I step back before I do something stupid like kiss him in front of everyone.
Three weeks is too fucking long.
Also at the table are Quinn and Jared, whose family owns the brewery down on Main Street.
“We’ve got next on darts,” Quinn says.
“Bailey should play next.The campers have been hogging the board and with Bailey on the team we have a chance of taking it back for the Herevians tonight.”Jared tips his beer at me.His voice is gruff, perpetually cranky at something, whether it’s invading tourists (which the town could definitely use, by the way) or cursing me out from that time I accidentally knocked his backpack over in the cafeteria and spilled his Red Bull.You’d think having a child would have mellowed him out, but nope.
“Campers?”I say, eyebrow raised.I look at the other group.
“They are camping at the base to get the first run in tomorrow,” Silas explains.
I look around the room—Quinn in her flannel and work boots, Jared complaining, Kit with his easy charm that makes everyone feel welcome.These are the people who stayed.Who built lives here.
And me?I’m the one who left.The one who comes back for weekends and holidays, who doesn’t know about Sunday Fun Day or which trail to take to the fire tower anymore.
Three weeks ago, Silas asked if I’d ever move back to Here.The idea was absurd then.
It’s still absurd.Right?
“Who’s going to help me?”I ask.
