“I know I’m his little girl.But that doesn’t mean I’m not also… a grown woman.Capable of relationships.And… everything that comes with that.”
I freeze, realizing what I just admitted.Damn it.
She smiles.“Oh?So you were in a relationship?”
“What?No.No.God, no.”I wave her off a little too fast, heat rising to my cheeks.“I’m talking about Dad.However, I did meet someone, but we weren’t in a relationship.He was my mentor.”
She nods slowly, but the look in her eyes says she’s not convinced.
“I’m serious, Mom.”I finally take a bite, mostly to buy time.“We knew it was casual.Both of us didn’t have space in our lives for a relationship, and… I was coming back here.”
The words sound right.It’s what I keep telling myself, but why do they feel so empty now?
She leans back, arms folded, clearly letting me dig this hole myself.
“I mean…” I stir the noodles.“He was nice.Like, really nice.”
Even if I’m hurt, he didn’t say goodbye.
She arches a knowing eyebrow.“You’re smiling.”
Am I?My hand flies to my mouth, like I can hide it.But it’s too late.I felt it, the warmth spreading across my face at just thinking about him.
“No, I’m not,” I say quickly, but the denial is weak.
“Well then, what’s that smirk for?”
I groan, setting the bowl on the coffee table.“It’s just… Okay, when I first started, we butted heads all the time.I’d steal his coffee creamer every morning.”
Her eyes light up.“You what?”
“His creamer.It had his name labeled on it, like he was guarding it with his life.”I laugh at the memory, warmth blooming in my chest.“But I’d take it anyway.Every day.And I swear, he knew.But he never said a word, just gave me this look… like he was in on the joke.”
“That’s so cute,” she coos.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t just that.He was brilliant, like really smart.But he wasn’t a jerk about it.He was kind to the kids.Patient.And with me…” The words come faster now, like I can’t hold them back.“He gave me space.Let me make decisions.Let me fail and figure it out.He pushed me, but he trusted me, too.Even gave me opportunities other mentors might’ve kept for themselves.”
Her face softens.“He sounds like one of the good ones.”
“He is.”
“I must say,” Mom says gently, “I haven’t heard you talk about a guy like this before.”
I lift my eyes to hers.“That’s probably because I haven’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because relationships were never the goal,” I admit, voice a little tight.“I was in college.Working crazy hours.Studying constantly.I couldn’t afford distractions.I needed to be selfish to get where I am.If I had made time for a boyfriend, I might’ve missed this opportunity.”
It rolls off my tongue, but it’s not what I believe anymore.
Because what if I didn’t miss an opportunity by being selfish?
What if I just… missed him?
The thought sits heavy in my heart, and I have to look away before Mom sees it written all over my face.
“Boyfriends are full-time jobs.”She chuckles.“Tell me about it.”
