I nod again, unable to say much more.
She reaches for the remote and puts on the news, her way of giving me space while still being beside me.I stare at the screen, not hearing a word of it.
Her words replay in my mind.
Dreams can change.
And for the first time since arriving in New York, I let myself wonder…What if she’s right?
Chapter 36
Brant
I’vesettledintomyrole as chief surprisingly well.The title carries meaning, yeah, but the work itself hasn’t changed all that much.Same hospital.Same patients.Same long hours.
But the autonomy?That’s new.
Now, when I see a gap in care or a process that’s slowing us down, I don’t have to pitch it up the chain and wait weeks for approval.I can just fix it.Implement changes that actually make a difference.Advocate for my department without having to compromise or water things down to appease someone above me who’s never worked in pediatrics.
It’s the kind of power I wanted.
And the kids, that’s what makes it worth it.
As Chief of Pediatrics, I’m not just treating individual patients anymore.I’m shaping the entire department.Building protocols that protect them more fully.Hiring staff who actually get what it means to work with children, people who understand that a scared five-year-old needs a different approach than a teenager trying to act tough.Creating an environment where kids don’t just get better, they feel safe while they do.
That’s the part that lights me up.
Every policy I write, every hire I make, every system I improve, it ripples out to hundreds of kids who’ll walk through these doors.Kids who deserve the best care we can give them.
So yeah, I probably push myself harder than I need to.I stay back later, pick up the slack, onboard new staff personally instead of delegating it to someone else.But if I want to set the right tone as chief, and build something that actually lasts, I have to give it everything.
That’s just how I’m wired.
Besides, where else would I go?
There’s no one waiting at home.
I’m at the nurses’ station reviewing a chart when one of the new nurses approaches, tablet in hand.“Dr.Harrison?I wanted to run something by you about the Eden case—”
“Yeah, come here.”I wave him over, and he leans in while I walk him through it.He’s a good nurse, smart, and asks lots of questions.
When he leaves, I feel the satisfaction of the job I’ve always loved.Being the one people come to.
But the moment he’s gone, the silence rushes in.
I glance down the hall toward the break room.Jade and Mira are laughing about something.For a second, I expect to hear Regan’s laugh with theirs.
But she’s not there.
She hasn’t been for weeks.
I turn back to my charts and try to refocus.
“You know, for someone who just made chief, you look like shit.”
I look up, and Dr.Gould is standing beside me, arms crossed, studying me.
“Thanks,” I mumble.“That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
