Dr.Thomas just sits there without a noise.His expression black, his gaze firmly on mine, but I can’t get a read on him, so it makes me ramble.
“I know this complicates things.”I continue.“And I didn’t mean for it to happen, honestly.She was… God, she was infuriating.Stubborn.Always in my space.Always calling me out.Heck, stealing my creamer.”My hands open, palms facing up like I’m offering him the mess I’ve made.“But she’s also brilliant.And brave.And she gets under my skin in this way that I can’t shake.I don’t know if she’ll even talk to me.But I need to try.I can’t go on any longer without trying.”I look up at him, hoping for some kind of sign.That I haven’t completely torched every bridge I have left.
He leans back slowly, one arm draped over the sofa.Looking at me for a long moment, he lets out a sigh that sounds like it’s been building for days.
“If you hurt her, we’re going to have a problem.Chief or not,” he says.“But if you love her the way you say you do, then go get her.”
Relief crashes into me so fast I have to take a breath and glance down at my hands, flexing them open and shut, trying to hold myself steady.As I think about how I miss talking to her every day.How fucking lonely I am.I’m surrounded by people with kids and spouses and dinner plans and goddamn family calendars.And I go home to ready-made meals and silence.
I need to tell him the truth, because not only is it fucking ugly, but it’s real.
I want what my sister has.I want a life.I want love.I want kids.I want someone to laugh with at night, to fight with about dishes, and then make up with over takeout.I want that.
“I never planned for this, I swear.I didn’t go looking to fall for her.But I did.”I exhale.
He’s not yelling.That alone feels like a win.
“I don’t know how the conversation with her is going to go,” I admit.“But I needed to talk to you first.You deserve that.And I’m sorry.I broke your trust, and I’m pursuing something you didn’t want me to.I know that.”
He lets out a breath through his nose and nods slowly.
“I appreciate your honesty,” he says.“And I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been watching you two, and I knew there was something there.”
A small grin tugs at his mouth, but it fades quickly.
“But I’m grateful that you came to me now.You didn’t have to.She’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions.She always has.”
He pauses, gaze flicking toward the window, like he's seeing someone who's not there.
“If you go to New York and she doesn’t come back… like her mother… you can’t hold that against her.Can’t be bitter.”He brings his gaze back to mine, and regret is evident there.
“I know,” I say softly.I’ve thought about it.Late at night when I can’t sleep, I think about every possible scenario.The thought of her not wanting me terrifies me, but I’d rather know than spend the rest of my life wondering.
“I’m honored you came to me first,” he adds.“And it’s not something I’d fire you over.You’ve earned your position, Brant.”
That catches me.I sit back, stunned.
He tilts his head.“The real question is… are you prepared to prioritize her dreams?To support what she wants, even if it’s not what you want?New York is her dream.It’s what she’s worked toward her entire life.So I need to know if that’s where she needs to be, are you willing to put her first?Even if it means giving up everything you’ve built here?”
I think about that… really think.About the chief position, the hospital, and the life I have here in Pulse Point.And then I think about her and the fire in her eyes when she fights for a patient.
“If New York is where she needs to be, then yeah.I’d follow her there.I’d support her.Whatever she needs.”
He leans in.“Even if it means starting over?Leaving chief behind.Building a new career in a city where you don’t have the same reputation?”
“Yes.Because what’s the point of chief if I’m doing it without her?”A small grin tugs at the corner of my mouth.“It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”
“It’s not stupid.”A faint smile crosses his face.“It’s love.”
I don’t know what I’m doing or what comes next until I speak to her.She might not want me.Might have moved on.Hell, she might be thriving in New York, and I’ll just be someone from the past she never wants to see again.But I can’t live without knowing.I have to try.
I rub my palms on my jeans, trying to slow my heartbeat.“And if she ever wanted to come back here… if she liked working at Pulse Point Medical Center, I’d hope you’d offer her job back.”
He nods without hesitation.“Of course.I’d have her back in a heartbeat.”
A small pressure lifts off my shoulders at that.
“It was good having her here.Honestly, we grew closer.She helped me see how shut off I’ve been from the world, from people, because I was holding on to too much pain for too long.”His eyes take on this soft, proud sheen.“She helped me let some of it go.”
