“Yeah,” I agree, but still don’t let go.
Reluctantly, she gets off my lap.I help her get back to the passenger seat.
She straightens her clothes before looking at me with a lazy smile.“So you good to drive now?”
I chuckle.“Yeah, just.”
She grins, running her hand over her hair.
I smile back and then start the car.
After I pull out of the garage and drive, she speaks.“So, what happens now?”
I glance over.“What do you mean?”
“As in...how’s this going to work?”she asks.“Because I don’t know about you, but that was fun.”
I smile.“It was fun for me too.”But even as I say it, I’m already trying to work it all out in my head.How could this possibly work without destroying everything?We’d have to be careful, discreet, and no one at the hospital could know.We’d have to maintain perfect professionalism during shifts.
“You know I’m leaving, right?I can’t— I can’t do a relationship.Not with where I’m at right now.”
My throat tightens.I nod.“Yeah.I know.I can’t either.It’s too much.If I get this chief position, I’ll be swamped.No time for anything serious.”I wish things were different, though.One where I wasn’t her boss, and she wasn’t leaving, and we could actually see where this goes.
“Yeah,” she says.“Same.But...”
“But?”I look over at her briefly.Her expression is vulnerable, and it makes my chest ache.
“What if we just have a fling?”She raises an eyebrow.“Get this out of our system, without it impacting our work.”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel.I should say no.Before it gets complicated, or someone finds out, or I catch stronger feelings for a woman who’s already planning her exit.But then I think about never touching her, never kissing her again, and going back to just watching her from across the room and pretending I don’t want her.And I know I can’t do it.
“No expectations.Just two people blowing off steam and having a good time.”
She laughs.“Well, it would definitely help my ego and make this residency more memorable.”
“It’s already more memorable than mine ever was.”
“Let me guess.Yours was boring.”
I nod.“I worked, slept, and ate.Didn’t dry hump anyone in a parked car.”
She laughs harder.“Are you jealous?”
“No,” I snort.“I was lucky I didn’t have anyone like you.I could concentrate.”
She smiles, looking pleased with herself.“I’m not sorry.You make a good distraction.”
“And you make it really hard to focus.”
She’s grinning now, that mischievous spark brightening in her eyes.She’s beautiful, not just physically, but in the way she carries herself.
“Well then,” she says, pulling her bag onto her lap as we near her place, “that’s settled.”
“What is?”My heart is pounding.I’m about to agree to something fucking reckless.That could cost me my credibility, but when I look at her, none of that seems to matter as much as it should.Maybe it’s because I’ve spent my entire life playing it safe.Following the rules and being responsible.And for once, I want something for myself.Something that isn’t about my career or my reputation or what everyone expects of me.I want her.Even if it’s temporary and fucking risky and ends badly.At least I’ll have had this.
“We’ll have some fun.”
“But no one can know.”
