“I shouldn't have taken your panties off, so it’s fine.” I fixed my composure as Everly ran backstage, and I walked down the stairs on wobbly legs. If it wasn’t for that liquid courage, I wouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that, but I didn’t care. It felt exhilarating. I looked around the room, eyeing the shadows to see if I could find Blaize’s glare, but it never came. Part of me frowned because I wanted to see her reaction, but the other part of me knew it didn’t matter. I needed to move on.
Walking off stage, Hunter grabbed my arm. “You’re needed upstairs.” She didn’t say anything else and turned on her heel.Odd.I needed to cool down after that scene anyway, so I made the strut upstairs. The upper level was pretty empty except for Blaize’s office and another area that was closed off.Why did she need me to come up here?
Suddenly, I was grabbed and pulled, but before I could react, Blaize had her hand wrapped around my throat and my body pushed up against her door. Her glare was intense. “You really are a fucking whore, aren’t you?”
I clawed at her hand, not taking my eyes off hers. “What do you want from me, Blaize?” I barked back at her. Her grip loosened but was still firm, keeping me in place. “You already said you don’t want me. You fucked me, that was it.”
“You were an easy lay.” Her words felt like a gut punch. “I don’t want you sinking your claws into one of my girls and hurting them to get to me.”
“You want nothing to do with me, but you get jealous if someone else touches me? That’s not how this fucking works, Blaize!” I yelled at her, clawing at her hand again. “If I want to fuck Everly or eat her out on stage, I fucking will.” I wouldn’t, but Blaize didn’t need to know that.
“Keep away from my girls. If you hurt any of them, I will end you.”
I forced back the tears burning in my eyes, refusing to show any weakness. “Whatever, Blaize. If I wanted to hurt anyone, it would be myself. You’re a grown woman, but you’re acting like a fucking child. You either want me or you don’t.” My voice cracked, but I kept going. I needed to get this off my chest while I could. “You already declared you don’t want me. I can let anyone in this fucking club fuck me until I’m screaming their name. I don’t belong to you,mistress. Just leave me alone. I have my own demons I’m fighting, I don’t need to add yours to the mix.”
My chest was heaving under her touch. I expected her to let me go, but she didn't. Instead, she crashed her lips to mine in a dominating kiss, and I sank into her touch as she forced her tongue into my mouth. Her hand released my neck and skimmed down my front, but before she could attempt to touch my screaming body, I shoved her away, catching my breath as I glared daggers into her.
“You don’t get to do that,” I hissed. “My body was already used against me once. I’m not a toy for you to manipulate because you can’t accept that you might actually want me.” She looked at me completely dumbfounded. “The next time you want to touch me, you better be on your fucking knees begging.” I stormed away and ran back downstairs.
I didn’t care if she made me feel alive. I wouldn’t risk my mental health for someone who couldn’t love me wholeheartedly. I didn’t even know what real love felt like, but the emotions in my chest when I was with Blaize were not what I felt with everyone else. Regardless of my feelings, I refused to let my heart be used as a punching bag again.
I rushed past everyone and slammed open the back door going into the alley. A frustrated groan escaped my lips as I hit the brick wall. My hands ran through my hair as I sank to the asphalt, ignoring the rainwater dripping onto me.
Why did she have to kiss me?
I was perfectly fine screaming my monologue to her until her lips made me weak in the knees. She had power over me, but I refused to let her play with my heart because she couldn’t admit that she might actually like me. My heart was too damaged to deal with half-assed love again. I knew I deserved a love strong enough to move mountains and destroy cities, and she couldn’t give that to me.
I closed my eyes and leaned against the brick wall, taking a deep breath. This might be a lot harder than I thought.
“Rough night?” a gruff voice asked, lighting a cigarette. He flipped the red pack open, offering me one, but I politely declined.
“Rough life,” I admitted. The hooded man turned towards me and stood a few feet away from me in the shadows. “Being in love with your boss kinda sucks when she can’t feel the same way.”
He chuckled. “She’s probably in love with you.” It was now my turn to laugh.
“Please. That woman wouldn’t know how to react to the words “I love you”falling from my lips.”
“Blaize, huh?” I cocked a brow, nodding. “She’s something else.”
I let out a long sigh, watching water drip from my fingertips to the puddle beneath me. “She’s intense, to say the least. Fucking gorgeous, but also the most confusing human I have ever met since being here.”
“New York?”
“Accent that easy?” I watched him flick ash from his cigarette.
“I know a few people from up there, it’s easy to tell.” I knew I let that piece of information slip already with Hunter, which meant Blaize probably knew at that point, too. “I guess I should get back in there.”
“I’ll be seeing you around,Kadence.” He vanished before I could respond. How did he know my name, and why did it sound like nails on chalkboard coming from his lips?
I stepped back into the club, wiping my wet hair away from my face. Tonight had been a whirlwind of emotions after the next, and I was ready to get the night over with.
CHAPTER 59
BLAIZE
Another shipment went up in flames, and with it, my carefully crafted plans for stability. Tensions were simmering on all sides, and the other territory leaders were openly questioning my competence. As much as I hated to say it, they were doubting my ability to provide for them, and there were whispers of a territory war for a new leader. Someone was out there trying to destroy me, and it was working. If I couldn’t turn this around quickly, I risked losing everything I’d worked hard for.
The doors to the clubhouse slammed against the wall as I stormed in, the impact reverberating through the room. Anger simmered beneath my skin like a live wire waiting to zap, and every muscle in my body coiled tight with frustration. I didn’t have the luxury of patience right now. If I didn’t get answers, the kingdom I created was going up in flames once again.
