“I hope you don’t mind me taking a shower. I felt grimy.”
I force away the image of her delectable body in the state-of-the-art steam shower and take a scalding gulp of the coffee to avoid suggesting that we head back in there together. I wait for her to continue the line of thought she opened with, but she doesn’t say anything, just stares out at the lake.
“Sterling, do you need help?”
She blinks at me. “I think I can manage to drink my coffee all by myself, thanks.”
A smile tugs at my lips despite my annoyance at her deliberate sidestep. “I meant with anything else. Like Jake, the jack-ass perhaps?”
She sighs and rests her arm on the table, leaning her cheek against her hand. “I don’t need help. I just wanted you to know he wasn’t weird like this the whole time we were together.”
“This goes beyond weird Sterling, and you know it.”
“I can handle it.” She tilts her head and logical thought evaporates from my brain.
I sit up, planting my legs on either side of the lounger, my eyes fixed on the way her robe gapes open without her holding it together. “Can you? Handle it, I mean? Do you really think you can handle some guy who wants you and doesn’t care what you want? His entire being is fixated to you, how you look, how you feel, how you goddamn taste and what he’ll do the second he gets you in his arms again.” I push to my feet, walking over to her chair. “He sounds determined.”
Sterling puts her cup down. “He won’t get another chance.”
She stands but I don’t step back to give her room. Our eyes meet and even though I’m likely no less fixated on her then the asshole we’re discussing, my body didn’t get the memo. I’m turned on by the thought of her naked under the robe. Turned on by the fact that she was naked in my shower a few minutes ago and instead of getting dressed and demanding to leave, she sought me out. I’m tired of second-guessing myself, denying myself what I really want.
I hook my fingers in the belt of her robe and her hand covers my fingers. I wait for her to push me away, but she curls her hand around mine, holding me there. It feels like we’re suspended in time, on this balcony so high in the air. My world narrows to the way the wind sends little strands of her silky hair dancing and the feel of her hand, still warm from her coffee cup, over mine.
“Do you still want me, Tanner?”
Her soft words, an echo of what I asked her the other night, go straight to my cock. I pull her close. “Fuck, yes.” I bend down and lick the edge of her ear, her shiver driving me crazy. I’m so close to sliding my hands inside the soft material of her robe to caress the even softer skin of her tits. The breeze here will make her little nipples pop like fresh cherries on my tongue and even though I never thought sex in the great outdoors was my thing, having her under the stars only whetted my appetite. Here in the morning sunlight, seeing her skin glisten in the sun, her cries carrying on the wind makes me harder than I thought possible.
I might not be able to give her forever, but I can give her this.
I just can’t think about the consequences when it’s over.
16
Sterling
Aloud buzzing shakes the table, startling me. This time it’s Tanner’s phone. Noah’s picture flashes on the screen, breaking the tension between us.
“You’d better get that. It might be about Jax,” I say, sinking back into my chair. With a shaking hand, I reach for my coffee, now cold, and drink it anyway. What is happening here? My skin feels ultrasensitive, the soft brush of my robe causes my nipples to peak and harden and I squeeze my thighs together against the rush of sensation flooding my body. There’s a pulsing awareness between us, a lightning flash of desire that feels like sinking into a hot bath, all prickly anticipation and muscle melting heat.
Honestly, other than my kiss with Tanner that night when I was eighteen, which lit up every cell in body with an ache I didn’t understand, prior to the other night with Tanner, I kind of didn’t get what the big deal was with sex. I don’t have a lot to compare it to, and I let Jake guide me at the time, which kind of makes me ill now. He loved the idea of being with a virgin, but apparently it wasn’t enough for him. To be honest, with Jake, I got more pleasure from my own hand than I did with his preferred roughness.
But with Tanner, I experienced something different. Instead of being tense, he makes me melt with just the touch of his fingers, the warmth of his breath, the promise of pleasure in his eyes.
He’s standing at the edge of the balcony, his back to me, one hand resting on the top of the railing, while he holds his phone with the other. Noah must be talking because Tanner is nodding, the muscles in his back rigid. They speak for a few more minutes, and Tanner’s agitation is evident in the way he tugs his hair up, letting it stand in every direction. I hear him say he’ll see Noah tonight and then he taps the phone against his forehead, before turning back to me.
“You should get dressed,” he says.
I rub my head, feeling a headache build behind my eyes. No way are we doing this again. “You can’t just start something like that with me and then leave me hanging.”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
I stand, sick of him running hot and cold. “We’ll talk about it now. What happened with that phone call? I get that my brother is buzzkill but he’s your best friend and I can’t change the fact that I’m his sister.”
Tanner drags a hand down his face. “Okay. Fine. The short version of it is this – I want you. I want you in all the filthy ways I can imagine, and before you assume it’s because I stick my dick in anything that walks, let me tell you something else to blow your mind. I haven’t been with anyone in two years.”
Stunned, I open my mouth to say something. I don’t know what I want to say, but it feels like I should say something. Tanner holds up his hand again, checking his phone. He shakes his head, typing something fast and then lifts his face to look at me. “But none of it matters. It doesn’t matter how much I want you, because I can’t forget you’re Noah’s sister and because I admire and respect your parents.”
He brushes past me, opens the sliding door and steps into the room. I follow him, my mind whirling.
