I have a “processing trauma and also maybe lust” face.
It is extremely different.
Margot folds her hands like this is a deposition. “Start at the beginning.”
“The event was fine,” I say, voice too high. “Professional. Photos. Dancing. Very normal.”
“Liar. Declan and I saw the photos online.” Amelia snorts. “You two looked like you wanted to commit public indecency.”
My sisters are still staring, expecting answers I don’t have.
I look out the window at Queens — brick facades, bodegas, yards full of holiday inflatables. All so familiar. Grounding. Safe.
Unlike the man whose hands and mouth I can still feel when I close my eyes.
“I don’t know what it is,” I say finally.
And for once, both Margot and Amelia go quiet, the drive peaceful for a while. Until Margot asks the question I've been dreading.
“So,” she says carefully. “Are you still meeting with Vanessa Chu? From FoodFirst?”
My stomach twists. “I don’t know. I’ve kinda been….”
“Been what?” Margot presses.
“Ghosting her. I don’t know what to say, or what to do.”
“I don’t blame you,” Amelia whistles. “That woman is terrifying. I saw an interview where she made a tech CEO cry.”
“Yeah. She has that energy.”
Margot leans forward. “So? What about that coffee meeting she set up for Tuesday? Still happening?”
I stare out the window at a passing deli, my reflection faint in the glass. Then I shake my head. “No. I canceled it this morning.”
Amelia’s mouth falls open first. “Wait—what? Okay. Pause. Rewind. That was supposed to be your big escape plan.”
“I know.”
“That was the deal where you’d get your own show, bigger budget, creative control, national rollout?—”
“I know what the deal was.”
“Then why on earth would you turn that down?”
I rub my forehead. “Because the whole thing suddenly started to feel… gross.”
They stare at me, and I exhale.
“They want me to feed them information about StreamEats. Programming stuff. Budget shifts. Talent rumors. Nothing technically illegal, but?—”
“But shady,” Amelia says.
“Very shady.”
Another pause settles over the car as Margot searches my face.
“Is that the real reason?” she asks.
