Her smile.
The way she used to glare at him whenever they sat together at the dining table.
“If you can’t handle spicy food, then stop eating it,” she would complain while pushing a glass of water toward him. “Why do you always order spicy dishes whenever I do?”
At the time, he had always brushed it off with indifference, acting annoyed whenever she nagged him.
But the truth had been embarrassingly simple.
He ate what she ate because he loved her.
Because sharing the same food with her somehow made him feel closer to her.
Because seeing her happy while eating made him want to stay there longer.
And yet he had never told her any of that.
Elias let out a rough laugh under his breath before dragging a hand down his face. The alcohol burned through his veins, but it still wasn’t enough to quiet his mind.
Suddenly, he pushed himself up from the couch.
His movements were unsteady as he staggered toward the dining room, one hand bracing against the wall for support. He nearly bumped into the chair before dropping heavily into it.
The dining table was filled with untouched food prepared by the staff hours ago.
His eyes landed on a bowl of spicy chicken curry.
For a long moment, he just stared at it blankly.
Then he grabbed the plate violently and pulled it toward himself.
He started eating recklessly, shoving food into his mouth without caring about the taste or the heat. His breathing grew uneven as the spice burned down his throat, but he didn’t stop.
The pain barely registered.
All he could hear were Amara’s messages echoing endlessly inside his head.
‘Elias… I’m scared. The doctor said I have a brain tumor and that I might not wake up after the operation. I’m terrified.’
‘I was very sick today. My head wouldn’t stop hurting and I vomited so much.’
‘I’ve been lying in bed for the past five days. I couldn’t even look at sunlight anymore, so I asked the maids to install blackout curtains in the room. I stay in complete darkness now because it hurts less that way.’
‘I can’t eat anything. Every time the pain throbs inside my head, I feel nauseous again and throw up. But today I feel a little better. ‘
‘I miss you so much.’
‘The doctor said there’s a chance I might not survive the surgery. But I can’t tell my parents about it because I don’t want them to worry.’
‘Juliet is here with me, but… I still wanted you beside me. Even though you weren’t here for me… I still can’t force my heart to stop loving you.
‘I’m scared, Elias. I wish you were here.’
‘The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s being discarded.’
His hand tightened around the spoon so hard his knuckles turned white.
And for the first time in years, Elias finally understood how deeply he had destroyed the woman he loved
