24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“I’m soglad you started coming to therapy with me. In group, there are so many people who’ve decided to speak out because you had to courage to do it. You’ve changed already from just a week ago. I was honestly getting worried about you.” Beth threw her arm around Elle as they strolled on the beach, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the sand beneath their toes.
“Me, too. It’s been very helpful. And I’m glad my big mouth helps others when I give them a chance to speak.”
“Yeah, you have to take a breath every now and then,” Beth teased. “Man, it feels good to laugh and joke again.”
They had lunch at an outdoor oceanside café, carefully avoiding certain topics so they wouldn’t step back into melancholy, but still enjoying each other’s company. “I think it’s time we stop tiptoeing around each other and get back to saying what’s on our minds like we used to. The more we act normal, the faster we’ll feel normal,” Elle said between bites.
“Agreed. So, I’m glad you’re showering again. That made a nice change to the smell coming from your room.”
“Bitch,” Elle laughed and threw a piece of her bread at Beth.
With the tension finally broken, she found a new spring in her step and could breathe easier. One step at a time, she was beginning to feel better. She was actually beginning to feel anything again.
Later that evening, Elle and Beth were watching a movie together in Beth’s bedroom when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” Beth announced. “Elle, it’s a package for you. Come sign for it,” she called from the door.
Elle froze in place, suddenly remembering the date. Four weeks to the day since his funeral. The ring with his fingerprint made partly from his ashes. The last piece of Devon Kane waited for her.
She padded across the apartment toward the front door and grabbed the knob while she steeled her nerves. Anything remotely related to Devon was still a trigger for her, but she was learning to embrace the memories of their good times. She swung the door open with her best face forward, even though it put her acting skills to the ultimate test.
“Elle Moore, this is the only confirmed fingerprint of Devon Kane. Every other print has been expunged from every file accessible anywhere as a safety precaution to national security. I want you to wear it, as part of your bridal set, as a constant reminder of my promise that I’ll never leave you again.”
She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t speak.
Devon Kane was kneeling down on one knee outside her apartment door. There was only one explanation for that—she’d had a complete break with reality.
“Elle, will you marry me?” Devon extended the ring to her.
To test her sanity, she reached out, took it from him, and slid it onto her finger. It fit perfectly. She admired the unique lines and grooves his fingerprint created.
“Elle?” He stood slowly and slid his hand across her cheek until his fingers threaded through her hair. “Darlin’, talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
She leaned into the warmth of his hand and closed her eyes, lost in her fantasy. Then her eyes flew open when she realized she could feel this daydream. She reached up and touched his face, several days of stubble covering his jaws.
“Devon? Are you real?” she whispered, scared she’d interrupt the best dream she’d ever had if she spoke too loud.
“I’m real, darlin’. It’s me, Elle. I know I have a lot to explain, but believe me when I say you’ll understand everything when I’m done. I love you, Elle. And I want to spend my life with you as my wife.”
Her hands flew to her mouth, covering it after a loud gasp. Her eyes grew big and locked wide open, staring at him and shaking her head from side to side.
“You died. I saw you get shot twice. The ambulance. The surgeon said… The funeral. I went to your funeral!”
“Just listen, okay?” He spoke softly, calmly and approached her cautiously. “I know it was all hell on you. It was on me, too. I’ve been in the hospital recovering. At my funeral, I was in a medically induced coma, with a special medication to slow my breathing. I knew nothing that happened. That’s why my casket was only open for an hour, so they tell me. They had to get me back to the hospital.
“From the beginning, here it is. After I left the Army, I joined the CIA’s clandestine black ops team. I’ve spent most of my life undercover and pretending to be someone else. That’s why I was part of the motorcycle gang. I went in undercover to save you. I would never do anything to hurt you or put you in any kind of jeopardy. Letting you think I was actually part of all that killed me, but I couldn’t risk telling you the truth and letting it get out. We’d both have been killed. The best I could do was stay close to you and protect you, so that’s what I did.”
He explained how Nick, Axle, and Jack were all working together as part of a joint task force to bring the club down. With Nick undercover DEA, Axle undercover CIA and working through Silas, and Jack being Nick’s handler, they had her and the other ladies well covered.
“You brought another actress in.” Her statement was disguised as a question, hoping he had a valid answer.
“The actress you saw me bring in the old clubhouse that night was one of their targets, but she participated willingly. She was prepped by trained agents and knew we were coming to get her, but she didn’t know which of the gang members were undercover agents. She never saw our faces so she couldn’t give us away.”
“She never told me.”
“She was strongly warned not to say anything. Her life depended on it too. She had a tracking device inserted into her arm just in case.” He stepped toward her, tentative in his approach, afraid she would bolt away from him forever. “The past eight years, the only reason I’ve left your side was because I was on a case. In between working assignments, I was with you. If I was in town on assignment, I checked on you and watched you from a distance, like an obsessed fan. But only because I’ve hated every second I’ve been away from you.
