“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
He looks at me sideways. “There are benefits to our way of life. And some serious drawbacks.”
“Why get more involved with it then?”
“Who said anything about that?”
“Come on, don’t act like I’m an idiot.” My heart’s racing and I have to try hard not to show my anxiety. I’ve been meaning to have this conversation with him for a long time now, and the opportunity is here. I don’t want to screw it up by seemingovereager. “I know you’ve been more and more involved with Dad’s side of the family business. I mean, I see it, you know?”
He’s looking down at his hands and seems thoughtful. “You’re lucky in a lot of ways. Dad’s been easy on you.”
“Easy on me?” I laugh bitterly and nudge him with my elbow, gesturing around us. “I married a stranger. I’m living in a stranger’s apartment. You think this is easy?”
“No, I don’t, but imagine doing this… all day… for most of your life.” He leans forward, elbows on his knees, rubbing his palms together. “It’s fine. Forget it.”
“Come on, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Dad’s expectations. That’s all. Someone’s got to take over the business one day and it sure as hell won’t be you, which leaves me. And who said I want it? Who ever said I needed this shit in my life?”
“Luke…”
“No, it’s fine. The truth is, I like where I’m at. I like the life and the family. It’s hard sometimes, that’s all.”
“You don’t have to do it, you know. Dad doesn’t own you.”
He looks back at me sadly. “Like he doesn’t own you?”
I want to argue, but he’s got a point. I pull my knees up, feeling deflated, because the truth is even worse than I realized. When it was Luke getting in trouble, that made a kind of sense. I felt like I could talk him out of it, convince him to back off for his own good.
But if Luke’s falling deeper into the family business because of Dad’s pressure…
I’d be a hypocrite if I tried to pretend like I’d do anything differently.
“I’m here for you, you know.”
He stands with a grunt. “Don’t worry about me. You’re the one stuck with Liam Lankshear.” He tries to smile but there’s no joy in it. “Seriously though, if you ever need anything, if Liam’s less than a perfect gentleman?—“
“You’ll be my first call.”
“Make sure I am. I mean it too, Regan. I know the Whelans would never willingly put you in a bad spot, but Lankshear’s got a reputation.”
I glance back toward the bedroom and the memory of his arms wrapped around my body floods back. His warmth, his comfort, the way he didn’t speak but let his body do the work.
“Yeah, I’ve heard about it.”
“Be careful, that’s all.” Luke heads over to the refrigerator, grabs a beer, cracks it open, and drinks it down. “I’m sure your husband won’t mind, right?”
“That was mine.”
He laughs, genuinely this time, and waves before he leaves me alone.
I sit surrounded by the mess of my life and sink into my thoughts.
Luke’s as trapped as I am. I should’ve seen it sooner. The realization breaks my heart. I failed him so thoroughly, so horribly, that I didn’t even notice until he spelled it out for me. I couldn’t protect him from Dad, and I sure as hell can’t protecthim from the Whelans and the Russians. I shiver, and I feel like I can taste blood on my tongue again.
I spend the day unpacking. My husband is nowhere to be found.
Which is normal, it turns out. Liam doesn’t seem to sleep much. He comes and goes as he pleases and has been distant since that night. I’m not sure how I feel about that. In some ways, this is the marriage I hoped for: he leaves me alone and I don’t bother with him. We get on with our lives, existing like roommates who shared one (okay, two) intimate moments, but nothing more.
