“Do you remember the first birthday you celebrated at Crownhaven?”
“Yes.” My words are a mere breath.
“Me too.”
“I was a mess. It was my first birthday after losing David. I hate that you saw me like that.”
He scoffs. “I’mgladI saw you like that.” His eyes are wild and he treads water in short, angry strokes. “What I saw was a girl who holds herself so tightly, even though she doesn’t want to. I gave you a present, and you hesitated. You reached for it, before you snatched your hand back, and it broke my heart, Katie.”
His words are harsh and clipped, like he’s barely getting them out. Like this feeling has been a storm brewing inside him for a long time.
I swallow, feeling that same storm chasing through my chest. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’twantto be like that, but I can’t help it. I’m sixteen control issues in a trench coat, Tristan.” My voice breaks.
“I know,” he says gently. “I like you anyway.”
That storm is ebbing, but the warmth that follows feels like it’s choking me, pressing words from my chest before I can think about them.
“I know it’s not my job to be this way. I know I could do less. I could keep my distance. I tried, you know. Initially.You badgered me into being your friend.” I give him a rueful smile.
His mouth lifts. “Didn’t have to badger you that hard.”
“You didn’t.” I sigh, tracing the wood grain of the dock, trying to shape my loneliness into words. Instead, what comes out is “You were the first person after David to pick me. The second person ever.”
My chest tightens as we stare at each other. The moonlight silvers his hair as he floats closer. Even the water seems quieter as he waits for me to keep going.
“You’ve made me feel like I am enough for you at every turn. Like you’d never change a thing.” I soldier on, even as my words seem to swell in my mouth and my breath quickens. “Even from the first day we met, you were special. You almost knocked me off that ladder and demanded we be friends, and I never stood a chance.” My heart is drumming in my chest. Can hearts grow? Is that what this thick feeling is?
Tristan’s gaze is luminous. He floats closer and rests his chin and arms on the dock. His shoulders bunch in the moonlight, broad enough to carry all my problems.
“There was a you-shaped hole in my life until you arrived. I don’t need you to change.” His smile hitches upward. “You fit it exactly how you are.”
“You are my favorite person in the whole world, Tristan Prince. Out of everyone I’ve ever met.” My voice nearly shakes with conviction.
His eyes flare wide, meeting mine in a flash of startled silver green.
“Everyone?”
I nod. “Everyone. You are the only person who has never made me question where I stand. Even if it wasn’t my job, even if I weren’t a fucked-up perfectionist with an overabundanceof paranoia, I’d still put myself between you and danger, because a world without you isn’t one I want to live in.”
His throat works. “I don’t think I deserve you.”
“Don’t even start,” I growl.
His smile is lopsided and small. “Get in the fucking water.”
38
TRISTAN
Inever imagined in a hundred years that I’d get Katie Bailey to skinny dip with me. But right now, the moon is high and her hands are reaching for the hem of her dress, pushing it up her strong, sleek thighs, and my mouth is dry. I tread restlessly in the water, my stomach not yet in free fall but in the millisecond before. It’s the same feeling I get before I floor it in the speedboat.
“I’m not turning around,” I say.
“Okay.” Even in the dark, her eyes are arresting. Her mouth is painted in shadow, full and lush and intriguing.
And then she slips her dress over her head and my swirling thoughts short out.
“You look likethat?” My incredulous words draw a laugh from her. She’s all high, small breasts and thick, muscled thighs and a flat stomach. A testament to competence and strength in the lines of her muscles. Hints of softness in the teardrop shape of her breasts, the hollows and curves of her waist and her hips.
