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But I can’t really feel very grateful to them considering that every moment I spend here is another moment I am forced to spend away from my one true love. I mean, it has been thirteen days and eighteen hours since I last saw Michael. That is nearly two weeks. And during that entire time, I have only spoken to him once by phone, due to the time difference between here and the U.S. and my UNFAIR, entirely UNREALISTIC schedule of duties. I mean, where in my grueling schedule am I supposed to find time to call my boyfriend? Where?
I am telling you, it is enough to make even a nearly fifteen-year-old girl weep, the way the fates are working against Michael and me. I have not even had time to shop for his birthday, which is in three days.
I have only been his girlfriend for thirteen days, and already I am letting him down.
Well, he will just have to get in line. According to Grandmère, who should know, I am letting everyone down: Michael, the Genovian people, my dad, her, you name it.
I really don’t get it. I mean, they’re only parking meters, for crying out loud.
Thirteen days, nineteen hours since I last saw Michael.
Saturday, January 3 Royal Daily Schedule
8 a.m.–9 a.m.
Breakfast with Genovian Olympic Equestrian Team
I really have nothing against horsey people, because horses are totally cool. But what does the palace kitchen staff have against ketchup? Seriously, ever since I gave up on the no dairy/egg thing, on account of I can’t live without cheese and McDonald’s has started treating the hens that lay the eggs for their Egg McMuffins humanely, I like nothing better than an egg-and-cheese omelet for breakfast. BUT HOW CAN I ENJOY IT WITHOUT KETCHUP???? When I come back to Genovia next time, I am fully bringing a bottle of Heinz with me.
9:30 a.m.–Noon
Dedicate new modern wing of Royal Genovian Museum of Art
Hello, I paint better than some of these dudes, and I am completely talentless. At least they put one of my mom’s paintings in there (Portrait of the Artist’s Daughter at Age Five Refusing to Eat Hot Dogs) so that’s okay.
12:30 p.m.–2 p.m.
Lunch with Genovian ambassador to Japan
Domo arigato.
2:30 p.m.–4:30 p.m.
Sit in on meeting of Genovian Parliament
Again???? Spent entire session thinking about Michael. When Michael smiles, sometimes one corner of his mouth goes up higher than the other. Also, he has extremely nice lips. And very nice, dark eyes. Eyes that can see to the depths of my soul. I miss him so much!!!!!! This sucks. I should call Amnesty International—IT IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT TO KEEP ME FROM THE MAN I LOVE FOR SO LONG!!!
5 p.m.–6 p.m.
Tea with Genovian Historical Society
They actually had a lot of very interesting things to say about some of my relatives. It was too bad Prince René was in Monte Carlo buying a new polo pony. He might have learned a thing or two.
7 p.m.–10 p.m.
Formal dinner with members of Genovian Trade Association
Okay, René was lucky to miss this.
14 DSLSM
I don’t think I’ll be able to stand this much longer.
Poem for M. M.
Across the deep blue shining sea, is Michael,
far away from me.
