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“Has anyone ever told you that you look like Heath Ledger?” —Not okay
René strolled by in the middle of my coaching session on his way to the palace weight room and suggested that I ask Wills what really happened between him and Britney Spears. Grandmère says that if I do, she will leave Rommel in my care next time she goes to Baden-Baden to get a face peel. Ew! to both taking care of Rommel and the face peel. And to René, too, for that matter.
7 p.m.–11 p.m.
Formal dinner with largest import/exporter of Genovian olive oil
&
nbsp; Whatever.
19 DSLSM
Friday, January 9, 3 a.m.,
Royal Genovian bedchamber
This just occurred to me:
When Michael said he loved me that night during the Nondenominational Winter Dance, he might have meant love in the platonic sense. Not love in the tides of flaming passion sense. You know, like, maybe he loves me like a friend.
Only you don’t generally stick your tongue in your friend’s mouth, do you?
Well, maybe here in Europe you might. But not in America, for God’s sake.
Except Josh Richter used tongue that time he kissed me in front of the school, and he was certainly never in love with me!!!!!!!!!
This is very upsetting. Seriously. I realize it is the middle of the night and I should be at least trying to sleep since tomorrow I have to cut the ribbon at the new Royal Genovian Foundling Home.
But how can I sleep when my boyfriend could be in Florida loving me as a friend and possibly at this very minute actually falling in love with Kate Bosworth? I mean, unlike me, Kate is actually good at something (surfing). Kate belongs in Gifted and Talented, not me .
Why am I so stupid? Why didn’t I demand that Michael specify when he said he loved me? Why didn’t I go, “Love me how? Like a friend? Or like a life partner?”
I am such an idiot.
I am never going to be able to sleep now. I mean, how can I, knowing that the man I love could conceivably think of me only as a friend he likes to French kiss?
There is just one thing I can do: I have to call the only person I know who might be able to help me. And it is okay to call her because
it is only seven o’clock where she is, and
she got her own cell phone for Christmas, so even though right now she is skiing in Aspen, I can still reach her, even if she is on a ski lift, or whatever.
Thank God I have my own phone in my room. Even though I do have to dial 9 to get a line outside of the palace.
20 DSLSM
Friday, January 9, 3:05 a.m.,
Royal Genovian bedchamber
Tina answered on the very first ring! She totally wasn’t on a ski lift. She sprained her ankle on a slope yesterday. Oh, thank you, God, for causing Tina to sprain her ankle, so that she could be there for me in my hour of need.
And it is okay, because she says it only hurts when she moves.
Tina was in her room at the ski lodge, watching the Lifetime Movie Channel when I called (Co-ed Call Girl , in which Tori Spelling portrays a young woman struggling to pay for her college education with money earned working as an escort—based on a true story).
At first it was very difficult to get Tina to focus on the situation at hand. All she wanted to know about was what I’m going to say when I meet Prince William. I tried to explain to her that according to Grandmère, I am not allowed to say anything to Prince William beyond It is very nice to meet you . She is apparently fearful that I will launch into my treatise on parking meters, which she finds less than scintillating.
