“You know it’s not.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Because I’ve given up everything that ever meant anything to me in order to be the best hockey player of my fucking generation,” Nick bursts out, throwing his arms up, “and I can’t stop now.”
“Have you ever considered maybe that’s the problem?” Matt argues. “You can’t live like that, Nicky. It’ll kill you.”
At last, Nick manages a smile—a dark, wry smile, but a smile all the same. “If it keeps me on the ice, that’s all that matters,” he says, and Matt’s snort is skeptical. “I’m sorry, Matt. I really am. But my priority is always going to be hockey.” That’s how it has to be, for him to succeed. For him tosurvive. That’s what they teach you, about staying at the top of your game: it involves some tough sacrifices, but if you’re willing to make them, it’ll be worth it.
So why doesn’t this feel worth it?
“I think you should go.” Matt’s voice is hollow. “And if you get your head out of your ass, you can call me, but don’t you dare expect me to wait around for you.”
“I don’t,” Nick promises, even though he dies a little inside thinking about Matt with somebody else. He takes a step back towards the door, unsure what to do. He’s never broken up with somebody before, or been broken up with, really. Connor had just left without a word. “I’m sorry, Matt. I really am.”
“Shockingly,” Matt snaps, “that doesn’t make me feel better.”
Yeah, Nick gets that.
With one last look over his shoulder, the little voice in his brain screaming at him to take it all back and beg Matt to forgive him, Nick reaches for the door handle, and leaves.
The news, when it breaks, comes to Nick via Twitter before any of the official channels.
“Holy shit,” he swears, drawing the attention of his two companions—Marco and Lindsay are squeezed on the couch with him, politely letting him pretend he isn’t still tear-streaked and hoarse. “Bam-Bam’s gone.”
“What?” both Perezes gasp; Nick hands his phone over, showing them the tweet.
@HockeyInsider:TRADE ALERT:
Nevada Receives: Marten Skaj, 2nd round draft pick (2024)
Detroit Receives: Brad Burrows
“He’s been traded.” Nick’s voice trembles. He’s told his best friends about breaking up with Matt—hence the crying—and a little about the meeting with Jazz, but he hasn’t said a word about what went down in the corridor just before it.
“Fuck, is that legit?” Marco scrambles for his own phone to verify it, both of them knowing how the internet loves to talk shit about that stuff during the trade deadline.
“Kelsey’s left the group chat,” Lindsay says, referring to Bam-Bam’s Instagram model girlfriend.
When Nick opens up the team group chat, the latest notification is just the words:
Burrows #92 has left the group.
No goodbyes, no explanations.
“Team account has posted it. It’s official,” Marco confirms, wide-eyed. Then, he breaks into a wide grin. “Aboutfuckingtime!” he whoops, punching the air in celebration. “Good riddance to that asshole, right, babe?”
Nick’s not sure which one of them he’s talking to. His ears are still ringing with Bam-Bam’s words from earlier, the certainty in his voice when he declared that everyone knew the truth about Nick.
Was this his doing? Surely his remarks in Jazz’s office weren’t enough to change Tony’s mind about which defenseman to offer Detroit. Did Jazz tell the GM what she saw?
Whatdidshe see?
While Marco and Lindsay celebrate, Nick sits beside them, nails biting into his palms with the force of his clenched hands.
This should make him feel better. With Bam-Bam traded away, it’s surely a sign that management is taking his side. Only, Nick can’t think of it like that—not with the no-trade clause inhis own contract. There was no real way to take Bam-Bam’s side here. They can’t get rid of Nick. Yet.
The end of the season looms like a specter in Nick’s mind—is he already too late, breaking up with Matt when the decision has already been made?
