His father clasped Remmy’s shoulder, squeezed. “Because you’re walking mostly naked down the drive. Before you were barely trying to find your own life. Now you’re willing to do anything to make your life a success. I’m sure you can apply that kind of”—he scanned Remmy’s nearly naked body from foot to forehead—“dubious dedication to courtship as well.”
“It does not matter how ready I am,” Remmy said, “if she is not. If she never will be.”
“Have you asked her?” His father peered closely at Remmy’s face. “Is that fear I see there?” He chuckled. “Good. All the best women make their men a little scared. Scared for their well-being, scared of how the world might treat them, scared they aren’t working hard enough to make them happy, and scared of losing their heart and never getting it back. You mustn’t let that keep you from dissecting your heart for her.”
“Dissection sounds painful.”
His mother patted his arm. “It’s not as painful as anticipated, or so I’m told.”
“Not at all.” His father sighed. “If you give it to the right woman, it doesn’t hurt at all.”
“The right woman being the one I’m scared of?” Remmy asked, just to make sure.
Chuckling, his father said, “Oh yes. Petrified.”
“Are you petrified of me, darling?” His mother clung to his father, lifting her face.
“Horribly so.” His father dipped lower.
They were going to kiss.
“Can the both of you please stop talking overmy head?” They were both shorter than him, his father by an inch at most and his mother by six or seven inches, but still it felt like they traded words above his noggin like batting a birdy with rackets.
“Be brave.” His mother patted his cheek. “And tell Tessa what you want from her. Then give her time to understand what she wants, too.”
“What if I don’t have time?” There was another man involved, after all. There was a damn deadline.
“Then give her what she needs as soon as you know what that is.” His father slipped his arm around his wife’s shoulder and pulled her down the drive.
Tell her how he felt? He’d done that before, did not relish doing it again, not unless he had confirmation her response would be different. His father was right about one thing—loving Tessa was terrifying. Because he was lost. Irrevocably, no matter how hard he tried to resist it. He’d chased oblivion in his work, in other women’s bodies, but he’d failed entirely to forget her, to fall out of love with her.
She wanted his body, no denying that. But it wasn’t enough. Love and lust were not the same, and she was grasping for him because her life was at a crossroads. He didn’t want to be her rakish diversion. He wanted to be the man she chose forever, not for a moment.
Remmy turned to his horse. Jeopardy stood ready on the drive, ears twitching, tail swinging. He put a foot in the stirrup to mount, flexed his muscles to pull all the way up. Time to make a scene. He’d much rather gad about mostly naked than sayI love you. Again.
Chapter Ten
Tessa had never hated a cowlick before, but sitting across from Mr. Tilbury, she had the distinct urge to chop his right off. He sat straight as a board, chin lifted higher than the moon. His legs were crossed and he scratched his chin thoughtfully.
And she clutched her skirts to keep from reaching across the chessboard and flattening that little lock of hair.
“Miss King, you’re scowling. Are you uncomfortable?” Tilbury didn’t even look up from considering his next move.
“No. I’m quite well, thank you.” They were in a well-populated drawing room where various card games were being played at different tables, and a few chess matches as well. “I suppose I’m finding it difficult to focus tonight.”
She moved a horse boy across the board, gave a little neigh beneath her breath.
“Are you ill?” Tilbury asked.
“No.”
“You just coughed. Or cleared your throat?” Nowhewas scowling. “Frankly, it sounded rather… barnyard, but my ears must be faulty.”
“Oh. No. No coughing or barnyard noises from me. Well, I suppose I did clear my throat. Merely to soothe a tickle.”
He moved a bishop all the way across the board, and she whistled the length of the movement.
“Do you have something to say, Miss King?”
