“Maybe.” Aaron leaned back, looking at him for the first time. “Whatever we decide is fine. I’ll be fine if we never have kids, too.”
Something skittered to life in Oscar’s chest, something about the way Aaron had saidneverthat implied the existence offorever. Not just the existence, but the inevitability, as though Aaron had risen to the sky and painted their story in the stars, turning their future into fact.
Oscar wanted to travel three thousand years ahead to read their history.
But first he wanted to live it.
“I wish I had a home to take you to for Christmas,” Aaron said. The wistfulness in his eyes made Oscar understand why writers made the curtains blue. He wished he’d gone into engineering instead, that he could fuse copper; he wished he was a thundercloud, electric, so he could flick the light on behind Aaron’s eyes again.
You can, Oscar thought.You have. He rested a hand on Aaron’s cheek, leaning in to kiss him on the lips, a soft delicate thing he would chase until the very end of his life.
“Youdohave a home to celebrate Christmas in,” Oscar said. His lips curved, nose brushing against Aaron’s as the brainwaves began to roar inside his skull, whirring to life an idea he’d fully composed by the end of the minute. “I hope you like mashed potatoes, Aaron.”
“I do, but I prefer them roasted,” Aaron murmured.
“Hmm,” Oscar replied, kissing the space between his eyebrows. “Then we’ll have both.”
20
DECK THE HALLS
Aaron was a vision in his pale blue knitted sweater, the nickname his friends had dubbed him embroidered across the chest in white,BOO BEAR, surrounded by snowflake patterns. He’d spent the entirety of November and most of December making these sweaters, and Oscar couldn’t imagine ever taking his off. The redSPIKElettering surrounded by holly patterns looked lovely on the backdrop of green. And for the first time in years, it felt like a real Christmas.
Oscar would always be grateful for the beautiful dinners he and Grandma had shared every year since he’d left home, but Lina would only come for hot chocolate and TV after spending the day juggling between Christmas with their mother at their aunt’s house and Christmas with Ryan’s family.
This time, everyone would be here. Aaron was buzzing with excitement as he bounced to the intercom to let their first guests up. Christmas Eve had been beautiful, a gift. Gemma had been in an alright place, smiling, legs swinging instead of bouncing. Aaron had been happy, eyes aglow as he spoke about childhood Christmases. Gemma got a hankering forblueberries. Aaron said she’d always make a blueberry pie for their Christmas lunch. Oscar had left them alone for a bit and gone down to the bakery a short walk from the home, bringing back pie slices for all three of them. They’d spent a lot of time working on a puzzle together and then Aaron got a picture with his mother, wearing the sweaters he had knit. Gemma’s had sunflowers with little Christmas hats on top. After, she’d insisted Oscar sit in a photo with them. It had almost made him cry.
But now was the time for laughter and joy. The apartment smelled like a holiday commercial. They’d just finished cleaning up the incredible mess that had turned Oscar’s kitchen into a pit after spending the early hours preparing a joint of ham while playing the same instruction video on a loop. Oscar would probably dream in the narrator’s voice for the rest of his life. Just like he’d promised, there were potatoes roasting in the oven and another batch ready for mashing, and Aaron had taken care of the veggie lasagna for Riley.
In the background, Luigi trilled and mewed in his knit Christmas cap while holiday classics blared through the speakers of Oscar’s TV.
And in front of Oscar, Aaron laughed and smiled and beamed at his friends, who had just walked in through the front door. Several arms wrapped around him at the same time, drawing a laugh that turned their living room into a present for Oscar, and he wished he’d thought to unlock his phone and film Aaron’s joy. It would make for good medicine when Oscar’s mood failed him.
“Hey, man. Happy holidays,” Joe said, clapping Oscar on the back before drawing him into a hug, too. “Where do you want us to put the cheese?”
Oscar gestured at the table, which he and Aaron had extended right into the kitchen, thanks to a board and mount they’d borrowed from Paulie. Joe and Anna set their plate ofcut up cheese in the center, Tobe following closely with the cold cuts they’d brought, and Riley set down the colorful salad they’d prepared. Marta had brought cute holiday-themed napkins and little paper hats for everyone and went about placing them to the side of every plate.
“I’ll go check on the roast vegetables,” Aaron said, running a soft hand down Oscar’s arm.
It felt adult, watching his boyfriend bend in front of the oven to check on a vegetable dish, and Oscar had never wanted to be a grown man as much as he did now, to be able to think about things like spending a lifetime together, to be able to host lunches with a person he loved.
A flurry of excitement washed over him at the sound of the doorbell, announcing their final guests. Oscar waited at the door, putting Riley in charge of holding Luigi so he wouldn’t run away. Lina’s eyes lit up the moment she saw him from the end of the hall. The last time Oscar had gone to Grandma’s for dinner, it had just been the two of them. Aaron had gone to see his mother that evening, and Lina had had some sort of college night seminar she couldn’t miss. But now his sister was here, and she was flinging her arms around him.
“Merry Christmas, Oscar,” she mumbled into his shoulder.
“You too, Leen.” Oscar ran a loving hand down her loose blonde hair, kissing her on the temple and releasing her so he could hug his grandmother, who was a sight herself with her new purple highlights and matching earrings, a beige polo neck and jeans. “You’re so cool, Grandma.”
“Cool or not, I’m still Grandma, so come here and let me give you a kiss.”
Oscar was glad to feel the familiar press of her lips on his cheek, a reminder of his childhood Christmases, sitting on the carpeted floor of her living room at the end of the day, opening presents from her and Grandpa while Papa keptrepeating how they didn’t have to spend this much and it was so unnecessary.
“Come in,” Oscar said, stepping back.
“Hi!” Riley beamed at Oscar’s family, Luigi happy to sit in their arms, having quite bonded with them.
“Hi!” Lina replied.
“This is Riley,” Oscar said, taking Grandma’s apple pie. “They’re Joe’s sibling and the baby of the group.”
