And Oscar couldn’t help him.
He wished he had something to give other than whatever hours he could dedicate to game testing. His heart climbed to his throat. It would be a couple more years before he finished his degree. Maybe he could…
His thoughts trailed off as Lucas’s avatar flashed green. Oscar put in his earbuds and pressed the call button.
“Chico!” Lucas’s lips split across his face, hands clapping. “Ah, it’s such a lucky thing you’re still up. Maddie’s asleep, and Philip’s napping with her. Want to game?”
“Oh.” Oscar didn’t like that he was interrupting Lucas’s only window of free time. “No, I just wanted to say hello.”
Lucas’s grin dropped, eyebrows meeting over the bridge of his nose as he scrunched it up. “Uh-uh. Tell me what’s up. Come on.”
In a different life, one before Aaron, Oscar would have waved Lucas off and skirted around the entire thing. He would have convinced him he was tired or bored or angry at his mother, beg to be distracted, and Lucas would indulge him with a game or two.
In this life, one with Aaron at its center, Oscar called his courage and doused the flames of his embarrassment with all the water Aaron had shed from his body weeping in the shower and gave Lucas a nod.
“Okay,” he said. “I’d like to talk.”
Madeleine was a lucky daughter, with a daddy who sat beside her all day long, marveling at every blink and every random wave of her fingers, and a papi who reminded Oscar so much of his own as he sat and listened, his eyes never leaving Oscar’s image on the screen.
“That’s tough, Spike, I won’t lie,” Lucas said. He rubbed his temples, drawing a heavy breath. “I’m sorry, chico. What are you going to do now? When’s the next appointment?”
“We don’t know yet,” Oscar said. He sucked in his lips. “Luke?”
“Yes, Spikey?” Lucas’s eyes grew golden in this moment, warm as embers on logs, the slightly overgrown stubble on his chin glinting a little white in places. “Tell me.”
“I need some advice…maybe a little help until I can…” Oscar’s voice trailed off, his stomach churning at the thought of what he was about to say. His entire life, Oscar had thrown himself into darkness after darkness, crawling from year to year just so he wouldn’t have to ask for help.
But this wasn’t about Oscar. This was about Aaron.
“What do you need?” Lucas asked.
“I might…you know…college doesn’t leave me enough hours to earn anything meaningful. But even if I…” Oscar sighed. “Even if I quit,” he said a little more quickly, “it would take time to earn enough, and time is something I don’t have. He’s convinced, and he’s scared, and I need him to have the answers. I’d pay you back with interest. We’d make a payment plan. I’d pay it back every single month, the moment I get a full-time gig. I’ll even get a second job. It’s just so I can settle with the private hospital and get him the scans right away. I promise I’ll?—”
Oscar stopped dead as the bedroom door clicked open and Aaron walked out, eyes full of sleep, squinting in the direction of the bathroom and scratching his head.
“You’re still up,” he mumbled.
Oscar turned back to his screen, and Lucas waved him off, hanging up before Oscar could even say goodbye. He shut his laptop and stood, taking out his earbuds.
“Why do you look like I threw a vat of hot oil in your face?” Aaron blinked, suddenly far more awake than he’d been a moment earlier. “What’s going on? What were you doing?”
“I was just talking to Lucas,” Oscar said.
“Why did you hang up so quickly? You don’t have to come to bed just because I want to sleep.” He frowned, face pinching. “I don’t want you to tiptoe around me like I’m about to break.”
“I wasn’t.” Oscar swallowed his trepidation and approached him, taking his hands. “I may have a solution.”
“To what?” Aaron asked, eyes dimming as he looked away. “My genetics?”
“No, boo. I…Lucas is…” Oscar licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry as a desert. Why was it so hard to admit? “They’ve got money.”
“Don’t you even dare!” Aaron pulled away, eyes widening. Maybe he hadn’t scalded Oscar with oil, but he certainly looked like he’d been drenched in a bucket of cold water,wide awake, sirens flashing across his eyes. “No, don’t tell him.”
“Aaron, I…” Oscar bit down on his lip, faltering as the realization hit him. His face and neck heated at the sight of Aaron’s mortification. “I didn’t think.”
“Well, shit.” Aaron turned away, huffing and shaking his head. “Fuck, Spike. That was private. I haven’t even spoken toTobeabout it yet. None of my friends know. How could you…”
“I wasn’t thinking. I just…he’s my…I needed…” Oscar rubbed his face. “I told my therapist, too. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I haven’t been thinking straight. I’m so sorry.” It was Oscar’s turn to walk away now. He paced to the table and back, running a hand through his hair, tugging, cursing at himself.
