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But ignorance, as Grandmère is fond of saying, is no excuse.
I would also hazard a guess from the unconcerned tone of that e-mail that the Drs. Moscovitz have not been paying visits to Michael’s room, telling HIM about birth control and the richness of the human sexual experience. Oh, no. That kind of thing always ends up being the girl’s problem. Even if your boyfriend, like mine, is a staunch supporter of women’s rights.
Well, at least he wrote. That’s more than can be said for my so-called best friend. You would think that Lilly might at least have called to apologize for ruining my party (well, really it was Tina who ruined it, with her stupid Seven Minutes in Heaven idea. But Lilly is the one who killed it spiritually by making out with a guy who is not her boyfriend in front of said boyfriend. Well, practically).
But I have heard nary a word from that ungrateful Boris-dumper. Far be it for me to cast stones at anyone for dating one guy while liking another… I mean, didn’t I do that just last semester? Still, I didn’t MAKE OUT with Michael before formally parting ways with Kenny. I had THAT much integrity, anyway.
And of course, I can’t really blame Lilly for liking Jangbu more than Boris. I mean, come on. The guy is hot. And Boris is so… not.
Still. It wasn’t very nice of her. I’m dying to know what she has to say for herself.
So is everybody else, apparently. Since I logged on, I’ve been bombarded with Instant Messages—from everybody but the guilty party concerned.
From Tina:
ILUVROMANCE: Mia, are you all right? I was SO EMBARRASSED for you last night when Mr. G caught Lilly and Jangbu in the closet. Was he REALLY mad? I mean, I know he was mad, but was he HOMICIDAL? God, I hope you’re not dead. Like, that he didn’t kill you. That would SUCK if you got grounded, with the prom next week.
What did he say, anyway? Michael, I mean? When the two of you were in the closet together?
By the way, have you heard from Lilly? That was SO WEIRD last night. I mean, with her and Jangbu, right in front of poor Boris. I felt so SORRY for him. He was practically crying, did you notice? And what was with her shirt? When she came out of the closet, I mean. Did you see that? W/B.
—T.
From Shameeka:
BEYONCE_IS_ME : Oh, my God, Mia, that party last night was da BOMB!!!!!!!!! If only Jeff and I had gotten a turn in that closet,I might finally have gotten a little action in my Victoria’s Secrets,if you know what I mean. Just kidding. LOL. Anyway, could you believe that Lilly/Jangbu thing? What was THAT about? Is Mr. G going to tell her DAD? Oh, my God, if my dad found out I’d gone into the closet with a guy who’d already graduated from HS, I would be SO DEAD. Actually I’d be dead if I went into the closet with any guy…. Anyway, have you heard from her? W/B with the DIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. Did you talk to Michael about the prom? WHAT DID HE SAY?????????????????????????
***—Shameeka—***
From Ling Su:
PAINTURGURL: Mia, your mom is SUCH a good artist, her slides were INCREDIBLE. By the way, what HAPPENED while I was in her bedroom? Shameeka said Mr. G caught Lilly and that busboy guy in the closet together? But surely she must have meant Lilly and Boris? What was Lilly doing in the closet with somebody other than Boris? Are they broken up, or something?
—Ling Su
P.S. Do you think your mom would let me borrow her sable brushes? Just to try? I never used a really nice brush before and I want to see if it makes any difference before I go down to Pearl Paint and spend a year’s allowance on them.
P.P.S. Did Michael ask you to the prom yet??????????
But those were nothing compared to the IM I got from Boris:
JOSHBELL2: Mia, I was wondering if you had heard anything today from Lilly. I have been calling her house all day, but Michael says she’s not there. She isn’t with you, is she (I hope)? I am really afraid I might have done something to upset her. Why else would she have picked that other guy to go into the closet with last night? Did she mention anything to you, you know, about being upset with me? I know I stopped for that hot dog during her march, but I was really hungry. She knows I am slightly hypoglycemic and need to eat every hour and a half.
Please, if you hear from her, let me know? I don’t care if it turns out she’s mad at me. I just want to know if she’s all right.
—Boris Pelkowski
I could kill Lilly for this. I really could. This is worse than that time she ran off with my cousin Hank. Because at least then there was no closet business.
God! It’s so hard when your best friend is a genius riot grrrl feminist/socialist champion of the common man.
It really is.
Monday, May 5, Homeroom
Well, I found out where Lilly was all day yesterday. Mr. G showed me at the breakfast table. It was on the front page
of The New York Times. Here is the article. I cut it out to save for posterity’s sake. Also as a model for how my next article for The Atom should go, since I know Leslie is going to make me cover this story as well:
