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The Official Student-Run Newspaper of Albert Einstein High School
Take Pride in the AEHS Lions
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Special Supplementary Edition
PROM CANCELED
by Leslie Cho
Due to the citywide hotel, restaurant, and porters union strike, this year’s senior prom has been canceled. The restaurant Maxim’s notified school officials that due to the strike, they would be closing, effective immediately. The prom committee’s $4,000 deposit was returned. This year’s senior class is left high and dry with no alternative but to have the prom in the school gym, something prom committee members considered, but then dismissed.
“The prom is special,” said prom committee chairperson Lana Weinberger. “It’s no ordinary school dance. We can’t just have it in the gym, as if it were another Cultural Diversity or Nondenominational Winter Dance. We’d rather have no prom than a prom where we’re stepping on old French fries or whatever.”
Not everyone in the school agrees with the prom committee’s controversial decision, however. Said senior Judith Gershner, when she heard of Lana Weinberger’s remarks, “We’ve been looking forward to our prom since we were ninth graders. To have it taken away now, over something as trivial as a stray French fry, seems a bit petty. I would rather have French fries stuck to my heel at the prom than no prom at all.”
The prom committee remains adamant, however, that it will have the prom off school grounds, or not at all.
“There’s nothing special about coming to school dressed up,” ninth grader Lana Weinberger commented. “If we’re going to get dressed to the nines, we want to be going somewhere other than where we have gone every morning all year long.”
The cause of the strike, which was summarized in this week’s edition of The Atom, still appears to have been an incident that occurred at the restaurant Les Hautes Manger, where AEHS freshman and Genovian princess Mia Thermopolis dined last week with her grandmother. Says Lilly Moscovitz, friend of the princess and chairperson of the Students Against the Wrongful Termination of Jangbu Panasa Association, “It’s all Mia’s fault. Or at least her grandmother’s. All we want is Jangbu’s job back, and a formal apology from Clarisse Renaldo. Oh, and vacation and sick pay, as well as health benefits, for busboys citywide.”
Princess Mia was, at press time, unavailable for comment, being, according to her mother, Helen Thermopolis, in the shower.
We here at The Atom will attempt to keep all of you informed as strike negotiations progress.
Oh, my God. THANKS MOM. THANKS FOR TELLING ME THE SCHOOL PAPER CALLED WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER.
You should SEE the dirty looks I got as I made my way to my locker this morning. Thank God I have an armed bodyguard, or I might have been in some serious trouble. Some of those girls on the Varsity Lacrosse team—the ones who smoke and do chin-ups in the third-floor girls’ room— made EXTREMELY threatening hand gestures toward me as I got out of the limo. Someone had even written on Joe, the stone lion (in chalk, but still), GENOVIA SU
CKS.
GENOVIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!! The reputation of my principality is being besmirched, and all because of a stupid dance being canceled!
Oh, all right. I know the prom is not stupid. I mean, I, of all people, KNOW that the prom is not stupid. It is a vitally important part of the high-school experience, as Molly Ringwald can all too readily attest!
And yet, because of me, it is being ripped from the hearts and yearbooks of the members of this year’s AEHS graduating class.
I’ve GOT to do something. Only what???? WHAT????
Thursday, May 8, Algebra
I cannot believe what Lana just said to me.
Lana:
(swiveling around in her chair and glaring at me) You did this on purpose, didn’t you? Caused this strike and made the prom get canceled.
Me:
What? No. What are you talking about?
Lana:
Just admit it. You did it because I wouldn’t let your boyfriend’s stupid band stink up the place. Admit it.
Me:
