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Lilly. Is there going to be a debate? Because Grandmère said something about a debate.
Shhhh. Pay attention. Hey, what’s going on with my brother, anyway? Are you two really Doing It?
STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT! IS THERE GOING TO BE A DEBATE?????
LILLY!!!!
LILLY!!!!!!!!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!
I don’t think Lilly’s going to answer you. Is there anything I can do?
Oh. Hi, Tina. No. Just…well, you wouldn’t be willing to get your bodyguard to shoot me, would you? Because I’d really appreciate it.
Um, Wahim’s not allowed too shoot anyone unless they’re trying to kidnap me. You know that.
I know. But I still wish I were dead.
I’m so sorry. The election thing?
That, and Michael, and everything else.
Did you and Michael have that talk like I told you to?
No. When could we have had a talk? I never get to see him anymore because he’s always in class, learning new ways we’re all going to die. And you can’t talk about Doing It—or, in this case, NOT Doing It—over the phone, or IMing. It’s kind of a face-to-face topic.
That’s true. So when are you going to talk about it?
Saturday, I guess. I mean, that’s the earliest we’re going to see each other.
Good! Don’t you love Ms. M in those totally adorable culottes! Who knew culottes could even BE adorable?
You know, someone could be wearing culottes and still not be…um, right.
What do you mean? Ms. Martinez is ALWAYS right. She loves Jane Austen, doesn’t she?
Um, yes. But maybe not for the same reasons we do.
You mean not because Colin Firth looks so hot every time he dives into that pond on A & E? But what other reason IS there to love Jane Austen?
Never mind. Pretend I didn’t say anything.
Do you think Ms. M knows how in real life Emma Thompson had the guy who played Willoughby’s baby???? Because even though he played a bad guy in Sense and Sensibility, I’m sure he’s really nice in person. And besides, Emma needed to find love after that Kenneth Branagh left her for Helena Bonham-Carter.
Sometimes I wish I could live inside Tina’s head instead of mine. I swear. It must be very restful there.
Thursday, September 10, ladies’ room, Albert Einstein High School
How do I always end up here? Writing in my journal in a stall of the ladies’ room, I mean? It is becoming like a ritual or something.
Anyway, it all started innocently enough. We were talking about last night’s episode of The OC when next thing I knew, Tina was going, “Hey, did you tell Lilly yet?”
And Lilly was all, “Tell me what?”
And I totally thought Tina meant the thing about Doing It with Michael and I mouthed, PINKY SWEAR at her until she went, “About your parents going away to Indiana this weekend, I mean,” which I must have mentioned to her in a moment of weakness, although I don’t remember doing so.
Lilly looked at me all excited. “They are? That’s great! We can have another party!”
Hello. You would think Lilly, of ALL people, wouldn’t want to come to another party at my place. Or at least be a little more sensitive about the fact that her ex, who she LOST FOREVER at my last party, was sitting right there.
