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They must have very different standards for prettiness in South Korea than they have here in the U.S.
Also, apparently, where Doo Pak is from, boys who play with computers all day just don’t get girlfriends. At all.
Maybe this is why they are always drawing them. You know, through anime and manga.
But, as I explained to Doo Pak, being a nerd in America is actually quite stylish, and most sensible girls WANT to date a nerd, as opposed to a jock or a playa.
Doo Pak didn’t look as if he dared believe me, but I pointed out that Bill Gates, who is in fact the King of the Nerds, is married. And that seemed to cinch it for him. He shook my hand and asked very excitedly whether I had any female friends I might bring over someday for him and the rest of the boys on the floor to meet.
I told him that I would certainly try.
Then Doo Pak excused himself to go to the computer store to buy the latest version of Myst, and Michael said irritably that he wished they would let freshmen have single rooms in the dorm, instead of forcing them to share with a roommate.
Which reminds me about something I noticed in their bathroom right before I left it. Something that completely didn’t register until JUST NOW. SOMETHING THAT MAY BURN ITSELF PERMANENTLY INTO THE SOFT TISSUE OF MY BRAIN:
THERE IS A BOX OF CONDOMS IN MICHAEL AND DOO PAK’S MEDICINE CABINET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously. I SAW it. Oh, my God, I TOTALLY SAW IT.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? I mean, clearly DOO PAK isn’t Doing It with anyone. I mean, he basically ADMITTED he’s never had a girlfriend.
So whose condoms ARE those?????
Oops, “Mike” is back—
Sunday, September 13, 1 a.m., limo back to the Plaza
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD OH, MY GOD OH, MY GOD. I just have to breathe. Really. Like they made me do in yoga that one time I went. In. Out. In. Out.
Okay. I can do this. I can write this. I can just set it down on paper like I do every other little thing that happens to me, and then it will be all right. It HAS to be all right. It just HAS to.
We did it.
We had The Talk.
AND MICHAEL EXPECTS US TO HAVE SEX…
…SOMEDAY.
There. I wrote it.
So, why don’t I feel any better??????
Oh, God, what am I going to DO???? How could it turn out that Lana is right? Lana has never been right about ANYTHING!!! I remember she told us if you sneezed and held your nose at the same time, your eardrums would explode. And what about the great “If you take a shower while you have your period, you could bleed to death” rumor she started? Even last year, she had a couple
of people going with the whole Bayer + Diet Coke = hole in your stomach.
The thing is, none of those turned out to be true.
Why did THIS one have to be the one she was telling the truth about?????
College boys DO expect their girlfriends to Do It. At least, eventually. I mean, Michael was very sweet and understanding and almost as embarrassed as I was about it. It’s not like, you know, he’s going to dump me if we don’t Do It tomorrow, or whatever.
But he’s DEFINITELY interested in Doing It.
Someday.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
