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Still, I think my story, “No More Corn!”, is pretty good. I mean, it has everything a short story SHOULD have in it: Romance. Pathos. Suicide. Corn.
Who could ask for more?)
Motion to approve the minutes from February 15th Meeting: APPROVED
PRESIDENT’S REPORT:
My request that the school library remain open on weekends for the use of study groups was met with considerable resistance by school administration. Concerns raised were: cost of overtime for librarian, as well as cost of overtime for school security guard at entrance to check IDs and make sure people entering were, in fact, AEHS students, and not just random homeless people off the streets.
VICE PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE:
The gym is kept open on the weekends for sports practices. Surely the security guard could check IDs of both student athletes and students who actually care about their grades. Also, don’t you think even a moderately intelligent security guard could tell the difference between random homeless people and AEHS students?
PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE TO VICE PRESIDENT:
I know. I mentioned this. Principal Gupta then reminded me that the athletic budget was determined some time ago, and that there is no weekend library budget. And that the security guards were mainly hired for their size, not their intelligence.
VICE PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE TO PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE:
Well, then, maybe Principal Gupta needs to be reminded that the vast majority of students at Albert Einstein High are not involved in sports, need that extra library time, and that the budget needs to be reviewed. And that size isn’t everything.
PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE TO THE RESPONSE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE TO MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT:
Duh, Lilly, I did. She said she’d look into it.
(Why does Lilly have to be so adversarial during these meetings? It makes me look like I don’t have any authority whatsoever in front of Mrs. Hill.
I really thought she was over that whole thing about me not stepping down from office so that SHE could be president. I mean, that was MONTHS ago, and she seemed to forgive me once I got my dad to go on her TV show so she could interview him about European immigration policie
s.
And okay, it didn’t give her the ratings bounce she’d been hoping for.
But Lilly Tells It Like It Is is still the most popular public access program on Manhattan cable television—after that one with the Hell’s Angel who shows you how to cook over an exhaust pipe, I mean—even if those producers who optioned her show still haven’t managed to sell it to any major networks.)
VICE PRESIDENT’S REPORT:
The recycling bins have arrived and have been placed beside every regular trash can throughout the school. These are specialized bins that are divided into three sections: paper, bottles, and cans, with a built-in mechanized crusher on the can side. Student use has been frequent. There is, however, a small problem with the stickers.
PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE:
What stickers?
VICE PRESIDENT’S R TO PRESIDENT’S R:
The ones across the lids of the recycling bins that say “Paper, Cans, and Battles.”
PRESIDENT’S R TO VP’S R:
They say “Paper, Cans, and BOTTLES,” not “Battles.”
VICE PRESIDENT:
No, they don’t. See?
PRESIDENT:
Okay. Who proofed the stickers?
