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Lilly:
I won’t be the person hurting him. You will. I didn’t write that story.
God. Why does she have to rub it in?
Wednesday, March 10, midnight, the loft
No e-mails from Michael.
No messages, either.
I realize he has a lot on his mind right now, and can’t be, like, totally focused on me and MY needs. I wasn’t expecting to come home and find a big bouquet of roses with a note tucked in them that said, “I love you.”
But a phone call reassuring me that we are, in fact, still going out might have been nice.
Yeah. So didn’t happen. I came home, and everyone in the house was already asleep. Again.
Being an actress, dedicated to her craft, is no joke. I mean, now I know how Meryl Streep must feel, stumbling home at all hours of the night after rehearsing whatever Academy Award–winning movie she’s in. I will never again think that acting is an easy career to have.
Anyway, I am taking Tina’s advice, and Giving Michael Some Space. The way she does with Boris when he has to learn some new Bartók.
And I can’t say I really blame Michael for not calling or e-ing me, since I’m obviously not the most stable person he knows. I don’t know what I was thinking, trying to prove I was a party girl when I’m so not. Basically, I was just trying to manipulate Michael, and that is never a good idea. I mean, unless you’re Grandmère or Lana, who are masters at the art of manipulation—particularly the manipulation of the laws of supply and demand.
But that doesn’t mean it’s right.
Seriously. Just because you CAN do something well doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.
Like my short story, for instance. I mean, sure, I can write.
But does that give me the right to write a story based on someone who actually exists, who might possibly read that story, and get upset about it?
No. Just because you HAVE the power doesn’t mean you should USE it. Or, at least, ABUSE it.
Which is what Grandmère and Lana do with the whole economics thing. If you are lucky enough to HAVE a talent—like mine, for writing—you have a moral obligation to use that talent for GOOD.
That’s what happened with the Michael thing. You know, when I did the sexy dance? That’s why it backfired. Because I was trying to manipulate people. Which is evil, not good.
I’m an evil economics abuser. I’m—
SOMEONE IS IMing ME!!!!!!!!!!
LET IT BE MICHAEL
LET IT BE MICHAEL
LET IT BE MICHAEL
LET IT
Oh. It’s Lilly.
WOMYNRULE: You know, it was really presumptuous of you to have kissed him if you don’t even like him that way. What if he gets the wrong idea? You already sexy danced with him, and now you’re going around kissing him? For someone so worried about hurting his feelings, you sure don’t seem to have thought that through.
!!!!!
FTLOUIE: Oh, yeah? Well, for someone who claims not to like him as anything but a friend, you sure do seem concerned about him liking me.
WOMYNRULE: Only because I THOUGHT you were dating my brother. But apparently one guy’s not enough for you. You have to have ALL the guys.
