Hope burned hot in his chest.
“Even then, I’ve never had a successful relationship in my life, Baz.”
He wanted to tell her that wasn’t true. To remind her of her relationship with Brantley, a friendship that had survived time and distance.
He wanted to tell her to think about all the people she interacted with on a daily basis in Coyote Ridge. They all cared about her and she cared about them, which made them more than acquaintances.
“My mother hates me; my father pretends I don’t exist.” Her tone remained quiet as she continued. “The only person I ever felt close to was my brother. But he obviously didn’t care enough about me to stick around.”
Baz couldn’t imagine losing her brother had been easy. And because Jeremy James had taken his own life, he understood why she would think he had abandoned her. It was difficult for people to lose loved ones to mental illness.
“I’m sorry about your brother.”
Her gaze swung to him slowly. “That was bad enough, but then my parents blamed me.”
That was something he hadn’t known. “Why?”
JJ shrugged. “They needed someone, I guess. After all, it wasn’ttheirfault. Couldn’t be. Saint Mom and Dad, the greatest parents on the planet.” She sighed. “Since I was the only one left, I got the honor of being responsible for pushin’ him to the point of no return.”
Damn.
“Don’t you dare feel sorry for me,” she said, although there was no force in her words.
Baz didn’t respond, knew telling her she wasn’t responsible wouldn’t do any good. Not right now.
“And all that’s just proof that I can’t do this.” She stared back at him. “You deserve better than me, Baz.”
Unable to stop himself, Baz scooted closer, put his arm around her shoulders, and had her relax against him. He kissed the top of her head, brushed her hair back. When she leaned into him, he took it as a good sign. Twisting so he could look down at her, he lifted her chin with a finger, tilting her head back.
“I don’t want anyone else, JJ. Since the day I met you, you’re the only one I can think about.”
She didn’t say anything, but Baz could practically hear her thoughts. There was no way Molly’s name didn’t pop into her head.
“Thisisa relationship,” he said softly, firmly, continuing before she could interrupt. “I’m not goin’ away. You and I both know that’s not what you want. We deserve that chance.”
Her green eyes were glassy once again, and he held her gaze for long seconds before he leaned in, pressed his forehead to hers.
“I love you, JJ. You might not want me to, you might not even believe me, but I do. And I’m gonna continue lovin’ you even if you push me away.”
She sniffled, but her head tilted, her mouth moving closer to his.
“I don’t expect you to love me back,” he managed. “Not yet. But you will.”
Again, he knew she was thinking about Molly, and it made his chest ache.
“For the time being, let me love you and you just be content with that. Let’s keep doin’ what we’re doin’. This friendship … it’s important. And while we’re doin’ that, let me show you what it means to be in a relationship, show you that you’re better at it than you think you are.”
“But—”
“Let me, JJ,” he said sternly, pulling back to look down into her face. “That’s all I’m asking. One day at a time. It doesn’t have to be difficult.”
Her eyes were wide, but he could see hope there. Possibly for the first time since he’d met her, she wasn’t poised to argue with him.
“What do we do on the first day?” JJ whispered, and those words made his heart thump harder.
“Well, I suggest we go back to bed, you let me hold you for a few hours so you can get some sleep. That’s all, JJ. I just wanna hold you. Then tomorrow we’ll see how it goes.”
“And go to the aquarium?” she asked hopefully.
