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Find fancy lingerie (Do I OWN any fancy lingerie? Oh, there’s that lavender silk teddy and tap pants from La Perla Grandmère got me for my birthday. They still have the tags on them. I hope I don’t get a rash from wearing them without washing them first.)
Deodorant
Check for unsightly blackheads
Ditch Lars (Easy. I will just tell him I am going to Michael’s apartment for the evening and that he can come back and pick me up at eleven. Then I will make Michael sneak out down the stairs and leave through the basement of the building. Then we can take a cab up to the Ritz. Michael might get suspicious, but I can just tell him it’s part of the surprise.)
EXFOLIATE!
Jolen mustache
Feed Fat Louie
Thursday, September 9, Lunch
So today when I got to the caf I found that someone had placed, on each and every lunch table, little triangular table-toppers that had all these warnings written on them. Like the one on our table said:
WARNING:
Did you know that the single most likely to occur crisis currently facing Americans is a pandemic? With bioterrorism a real threat, and air travel as popular as it is today, deadly diseases such as avian flu and smallpox could erupt in our population at ANY time. Would YOU know what to do in the event of a bioterror attack?
PRINCESS MIA OF GENOVIA DOES.
Vote for a REAL LEADER.
Vote SMART.
Vote for Mia.
One on a nearby table said:
WARNING:
Did you know that if a dirty bomb (an explosive device containing radioactive material inside of it) went off in Times Square during school hours, even a mild wind could blow contaminated air our way in a matter of minutes, causing radiation poisoning leading to cancer and/or death? Would YOU know what to do in the event of a dirty bomb attack?
PRINCESS MIA OF GENOVIA DOES.
Vote for a REAL LEADER.
Vote SMART.
Vote for Mia.
And on the next table, one that said:
WARNING:
Did you know that in 1737 and again in 1884, New York City was rocked by estimated 5.0 earthquakes? The city is MORE than due for another one, and considering that much of lower Manhattan sits on sediment excavated from the World Trade Center when it was first built, and that most buildings here on the Upper East Side were built before earthquake-mitigating building codes were required, what are our chances of survival if a 5.0 or greater earthquake hit during school hours? Would YOU know what to do in the event of such a catastrophe?
PRINCESS MIA OF GENOVIA DOES.
Vote for a REAL LEADER.
Vote SMART.
Vote for Mia.
You didn’t exactly have to be a REAL LEADER to figure out where these cheery little placards had come from. The minute I saw her coming toward our table, her tray piled high with salad and skinless chicken (Lilly has been trying to eat healthier lately. She’s already lost ten pounds and looks much less like a pug than she used to. You can almost see her cheekbones), I went, “What do you think you’re doing?” and pointed at the table-topper.
