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“I don’t mean how long have you two been fighting,” Lana said, rolling her eyes. “I meant, how long have she and the Beanpole been banging?”
Sometimes it’s quite difficult to understand what Lana is saying, because she uses a type of slang with which no one else at our lunch table (aside from Trisha Hayes and Shameeka, who has also come back into the fold) is familiar.
“Beanpole?” I echoed.
“Banging?” Tina added.
Lana rolled her eyes again and said, “How long has Lilly Moscovitz been sleeping with Mr. Rocket Science?”
I dropped my beef and cheese taquito.
“WHAT?” I cried. “Lilly and Kenny?”
But Lana just blinked her super long, volume-enhanced, mascaraed lashes and went, “Duh. I told you I saw them sucking face at Around the Clock this past weekend.”
“You said you saw Lilly and a NINJA making out,” I said. “Not KENNY. Kenny Showalter is not a ninja.”
“No,” Lana said as she chewed her tuna-avocado roll—which she has specially delivered every day for lunch since the caf doesn’t do sushi. “It was definitely that guy over there.”
“Totally,” Trisha said. “I’d recognize that bulbous Adam’s apple anywhere. It was bobbing all over the place.”
Tina and I looked at each other in shock. Then Tina swung an accusing glare at her boyfriend.
“Boris,” she said. “Was the guy Lilly was making out with in her kitchen KENNY?”
Boris looked uncomfortable. “It was hard to tell,” he said. “His back was to me. And all those muay thai fighters looked the same with their shirts off.”
“Oh my God!” Tina cried. “It was Kenny! Boris! You got Mia all upset for nothing, thinking Lilly was hooking up with a random strange muay thai fighter in her despair over J.P. dumping her, when really it was Kenny all along!”
“I didn’t dump her!” J.P. insisted.
But Boris just looked bored. “Who cares?” he wanted to know. “When are things going to go back to normal around here?”
On the word normal, he looked over at Lana and Trisha.
No one, of course, noticed. Except for J.P., who smiled at me. J.P. really does have a nice smile.
Not that that has anything to do with any of this.
Anyway, at first I was like, “But Lilly could so easily break Kenny’s neck with her thighs, like Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner.”
But then I remembered how Kenny?
??s been bulking up with all that muay thai fighting.
So. I’m happy for her. I really am. I mean, if she’s happy, I’m happy.
But still. KENNY SHOWALTER????????
Wednesday, September 22, Chemistry
I don’t care about the ban on my writing in class: I HAVE to get this down.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I HAD to ask Kenny what was going on with him and Lilly.
So I just went, “Kenny. Is it true about you and Lilly going out? Because if so I want you to know, I think you guys make a really nice couple.”
(Lie. But since when do I ever tell the truth?)
