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But probably that was good. Because I couldn’t see all the stricken faces that were turned in our direction.
Although I could hear the total silence that was roaring across the caf. You couldn’t even hear a fork scrape. That’s how eager everyone was to take in every second of the verbal tongue-lashing I was getting from my former best friend.
“Lilly,” I whispered. “You know I didn’t break Michael’s heart. He broke mine. And I did not steal your boyfriend—”
“Oh, save it for the New York Post,” Lilly shouted. “Nothing is EVER your fault, is it, Mia? But then why should you ever admit you were in the wrong, when the victim thing is working so well for you, right? I mean, look at you. You’ve got LANA WEINBERGER as your best friend now. Isn’t that SPECIAL? Don’t you realize that she’s just USING you, you idiot? They’re all just using you, Mia. I was your only real friend and look how you treated me!”
All I could see of Lilly was a big blur after that, because the tears were coming so fast. But I could hear the contempt in her voice. Also, the complete and utter silence of everyone around us.
“And you know what?” Lilly went on acidly—and still loudly enough to wake the dead. “You’re right. You didn’t break Michael’s heart. He was so sick of your constant whining and complete inability to solve your own problems, he couldn’t wait to get away from you. I just wish I were as lucky as he is! I’d give anything to be thousands of miles away from you, too. But in the meantime, at least I have the new website I’ve designed to comfort me. Perhaps you’ve seen it? If not let me give you the URL—it’s IHATEMIATHERMOPOLISDOTCOM!”
And with that, she whirled around and left the cafeteria.
Or at least I suppose so. It was kind of hard to tell since I couldn’t actually see what was happening, because by that time I was crying so hard, it looked like Niagara Falls was coming down my face.
Which was why I didn’t notice that Tina and Boris and J.P. and Shameeka and Lana and Trisha had hurried over to where I was sitting until they were patting me on the back and saying things like, “Don’t listen to her, Mia, she didn’t mean it,” and “She’s just jealous. She always has been,” and “Nobody’s using you, Mia. Because to be honest, you don’t really have anything I want.” (This last came from Lana. Who meant it kindly, I know.)
I knew they were just trying to be nice. I knew they just wanted to make me feel better.
But it was too late. Lilly’s total annihilation of me—in such a public manner—was the straw that broke the camel’s entire spinal column. And the fact that Lilly—Lilly, of all people!—was behind that stupid website?
I guess I always knew it.
But to hear her admit it like that—so proudly, like she wanted me to know…
I had to get out of there. I knew by doing so, I was just being what Lilly had accused me of—a whiny victim.
But I really needed to just be alone.
Which is what I’m doing here in the third-floor stairwell, which leads to the locked roof door, and where no one ever goes…
No one but Lilly and me, that is, when we’ve been upset about something in the past.
Lars is standing guard at the bottom of the stairs to keep anyone from coming up. He seems genuinely concerned about me. He went, “Princess, should I call your mother?”
I was like, “No, thanks, Lars.”
And then he was all, “Well, then, your father, maybe?”
And I was like, “NO!”
He looked kind of taken aback by my vehemence. But I was afraid he was going to ask if he should call Dr. Knutz next.
Thankfully, though, he just nodded and said, “All right, then. If you’re sure…”
Am I ever sure. I told him I just needed to be by myself for a little while. I said I’d be right back down…
But it’s been fifteen minutes, and I don’t feel like the tears are going to stop anytime soon. I just—how could she say those things? After everything we’ve been through together? How could she WRITE those things on her site? How can she think I would ever do anything like what she accused me of? How could she ever be so…so cruel?
Oh, no. I hear footsteps. Lars is letting someone up! WHY, LARS, WHY???? I told you—
Friday, September 24, G & T
Oh, God. That was so…
Random.
Really. That’s the only word I can think of to describe it.
