Sophie
So travel. And don’t just talk about it, put action to it. You know what Dad always said?
Sadie
?
Sophie
If you’re going to jump, don’t stand on the edge all day thinking about it.
Emma
Dad did say that. Usually while Mom was yelling at him from the porch.
A laugh slips out of me before I can stop it. I can almost hear the scene—Dad halfway up a ladder putting up Christmas lights. He wanted to “go big” like Clark Griswold. Mom was warning him that he’d break his neck, my sisters and me watching because it was great entertainment.
He didn’t fall off the ladder. He slipped a few times but managed to light up our house so brightly we couldn’t fall asleep until the timer finally switched them off.
Sophie
So…are you going to stand on the edge? Or are you going to jump?
I stare at the question.
Standing on the edge.
That’s what most of my life has felt like—safe decisions, careful steps, doing what makes sense. The right thing. The responsible thing.
But the list on my counter isn’t careful.
It’s messy. Bold. A little reckless.
Checking off that list was the first time in a long time I felt like I was actually living.
Sadie
I’m jumping.
Emma
Into what exactly?
Sadie
I don’t know yet.
Sophie
PERFECT! That means it’s a real jump.
I glance back down at the list. My finger traces the words slowly, remembering each moment—the wind at the water tower, the first time I looked in the mirror and saw myself in red lipstick, Milo’s hand in mine while ink seeped into my skin like parchment.
Milo.
My chest tightens a little at the thought of him.
I wonder if he’s talking to Joe right now, if Joe is disappointed that I practically sent Milo away after he just got him back. My throat tightens slightly but instead of swallowing down the guilt, I part my lips and breathe. My lungs loosen.
