Beaming like an idiot, I wished him good luck for his final viewing and hung up, insanely excited for the night ahead.Although I didn’t think my excitement was because I was seeing my friends.
Pete, Luke, Chris, and I had been friends since middle school. We got on well because none of us were part of the popular crowd; in fact, for years, other kids called us the nerdy boys. When the three of them went off to college, and I stayed put in Henderson to complete an apprenticeship in painting and decorating, we stayed in touch, with me visiting them, and them returning home frequently.
In recent months, life had gotten busy for us all. My business had taken off, Pete had become a father, Luke was in the midst of planning a wedding with his fiancée, and Chris was working all hours in an unpaid internship as a stockbroker.
We messaged regularly in our group chat, but because we hadn’t managed to meet up in a while, our pre-Christmas beers were well overdue. The evening flew by as we all caught up on life, but the reality of adulthood kicked in by 9 pm.
“I’m gonna head to the bar. Who wants a beer?”Chris asked, having drunk his third pint much quicker than all of us.
Pete sighed.“I can’t. I promised Charlotte I would be home by 9 to help with Arthur’s night feed. She’ll kill me if I’m much later; she’s barely slept since the little fella came along.”
I offered him a sympathetic smile, remembering what it was like in our house when the twins were born. I didn’t think I slept a solid night for months, and often went to school exhausted.
“Yeah, I’m going to have to call it a night, too, boys. Wendy and I are going to see a wedding venue in the morning, and she wants to leave early,”Luke added, downing the last mouthful of his beer.
Chris glowered at them.“What the hell has happened to you pussies? I thought we were out on the town tonight like old times.”
I squeezed his shoulder.“Hate to say it, dude, but life’s changed for all of us. Besides, we agreed tonight was going to be a quiet one.”
“Don’t tell me you’re leaving as well, Tris? Me and you are still single, don’t you want to hit up the town and find some company for the night?”Chris urged.
A lump lodged in my throat, and I swallowed it like a bitter pill. Arguably, I was single. But I didn’t want to be. There was one guy who had my attention, and the only one I wanted to spend the night with, but Chris’s words were another reminderthatwhat Ben and I had was nothing serious.
Shaking away the sour mood threatening to ruin my evening, I checked my watch.“I’m good for another hour, I’ll have one more beer.”
Chris rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath once again about how we were all pussies. Saying our goodbyes to Pete and Luke, I followed Chris to the bar, detouring along the way to take a piss.
Finding the restroom empty, I did my business and washed my hands, the face of Ben front and center in my mind. I couldn’t wait to see him, and I knew I was too far gone with my feelings to not get hurt if he decided to end things. Maybe I needed to speak to him. See what page he was on. Who knew, maybe hefelt the same about me, and our secret liaisons could turn into something more.
Lost in thought, I didn’t register the door opening behind me as I dried my hands under the dryer. It was only when a familiar voice spokethatI spun, a lump of dread landing square in my gut as I stared at the person whose goal was to make my life a misery.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Tristan Crutchens,”Bill Woods said, a malicious smirk on his face as he raked his eyes up and down my body.“Still taking cock up the ass?”
I grit my teeth. I’d had every homophobic slur thrown at me from this asshole in the past. I would have thoughtthatafter he’d left school and gone to college, he might have grown up a bit, but clearly,thathadn’t happened.
He’d moved away from Henderson after he finished college, but he still had family in town and would often visit. Of course, he used his visits to antagonize me in any way he could. Last Christmas, I woke to discover someone had scratchedfaggotinto the panel of my van. I could never prove it was him, but giventhatwas his favorite thing to call me, I suspected he was responsible.
I hadn’t seen him around town for several months, and truthfully, I’d forgotten about him. It wasjustmy bad luck to run into him when I was the happiest I’d been in a long time.
Instead of rising to the bait, I let a broad grin spread across my lips. Many times, I’d reacted out of anger, and all it resulted in was me being hurt, both physically and mentally. When I came home from school one day with a black eye, my dad had threatened to report Bill to the authorities, but I begged him not to. He eventually relented, butthatwas when he told me to kill people with kindness instead of reacting to their hate, a motto I held close to me fromthatday.
“I certainly am, and proud. Good to see you too, Bill. You look well.”
A snarl formed on his face.“You’re fucking disgusting, Crutchens.”
I chuckled, stepping toward him, and not prepared to entertain his abuse. He leaped out of the way, almost as if he was frightened I might touch him, and he would catch my gayness.
Fighting to not roll my eyes, I stopped in front of him.“Don’t worry, Bill, I’m not going to touch you. You’re not my type.”
Throwing him a wink, I strolled past him and out of the restroom with a tremor in my hands. I hated confrontation; it wasn’t in my nature. Relieved he didn’t follow, I found Chris at the bar with a fresh pint waiting for me.
We spent the next hour sipping our drinks and talking shit about when we were kids. Right at the moment when Chris asked if I wanted another drink, my phone vibrated with an incoming message. I pulled it out of my pocket to read the message Ben had sent.
Ben:
I couldn’t get a space outside Charlie’s. I’m parked down the road by the bus stop.
Me:
