She needed to talk to the others first. “Than—”
His finger pressed to her lips, silencing the name. “Say yes, and I’ll make you forget about anyone else. Just you and me.”
Just because Hermes hadn’t let her say their names didn’t mean she could forget. She couldn’t forget them or shove them aside because he made her insides go all soft and gooey.
But he understood something the others didn’t. That restless ache she’d carried her whole life, needing to keep experiencing, and never settling for what others expected. Because that would feel like giving up.
He’d taken her to Paris not because she needed protection but because she needed joy. She’d needed to remember what living felt like instead of just surviving.
She saw herself in him. The part that jumped from job to job, relationship to relationship, always leaving before it got too real. The part that wanted freedom more than safety. Adventure more than comfort. The part she’d been fighting so hard against since before the gods came into her life.
Thanatos had given her peace. The way he’d looked at her after they’d made love, as if she were something precious he’d never expected to find.
I want to keep you.
Anubis gave her strength, teaching her to fight because he refused to see her as helpless or let her see herself that way. The careful way he touched her, as if she were worth protecting.
And Hypnos—damn him—gave her protection. The light pressure of his hand on her arm as she slept, keeping her safe in the one place she couldn’t protect herself. He cared for her, even if his stubbornness matched her own.
But Hermes was offering her wings.Freedom.
He’d reminded her that she wasn’t just cursed, fighting against inevitable death. She was someone who wanted to live. Her heart twisted painfully because she wanted him too. Just not at the cost of everything else. “For how long?”
Hermes looked confused. “What?”
“If I say yes…” She swallowed. “How long would itbe just us?”
“I don’t know.”
That was the truth. She could hear it, and somehow that hurt more than any rejection. If he’d lied, promising her forever or even just tonight, she could’ve written him off as the smooth-talking trickster everyone said he was. But this honesty made it too real, stripping away the easy answers and making the choice even harder.
“Thank you for your honesty.”
It was her turn to be introspective and to see whether she wanted something more meaningful from any relationship with him. With them. All of them.She shook her head at the realization, at the impossibility of what she wanted.
She stood slowly, her nerves causing her to wobble. “I want more than something fleeting.”
The smile he usually wore as a shield faded, and the mischief dimmed in his eyes. “Why deny what you feel for me?”
She pursed her lips to stop them from trembling. “I’m not.”
He leaned back in, his lips touching the shell of her ear. “Then choose me.”
Stumbling slightly, she took a step back, shaking her head, putting some distance between them before she did something stupid. “I’m not denying what I feel for you, but you aren’t the only one I have feelings for.”
The thought of choosing between them caused a phantom pain, like the memory of Anubis’ dagger all over again. She exhaled shakily.
Hermes’ expression shuttered, the mask slamming back into place.
Gods, she wanted to give in, even if only so she could see his emotions once more. To see his normally clear eyes turn stormy. She wanted to see the real him.
Before she could let him tempt her when she was on the verge of breaking down, she turned away from him. She walked to the bedroom door on unsteady legs, pausing just before going inside.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t choose.”
She closed the door gently, trying to ignore the pain radiating out from deep inside her, making her want to curl into a ball and cry until she couldn’t anymore.
She looked at the three gods in her bed, barely visible in the darkness. One a lover, one a possible lover, and another she wasn’t sure was even a friend.She took a steadying breath before confidently moving forward.
