‘No, it’s human, Tim. We’re all just human beings, walking around, making mistakes. Trying to get through life, messing up, failing and trying again to be better.’
He nods, sniffing, wiping his eyes.
‘So, what did the police say then? They let you go?’
‘Yeah, I told them the truth and they seemed to believe me. Let me off with a caution. Thanks to my clean record and good character.’
‘Ha! Unlike mine. That business with Muriel Hadlow will follow me around for the rest of my days, I swear.’
Tim turns to her. ‘You’re a good person, Lottie. You made a mistake but you meant no harm. That old woman was a ticking time bomb, her heart could have given up at any moment. And you weren’t the only one out protesting that day. There were lots of others, equally as responsible. You were made a scapegoat because you were the only one to step up.’
She smiles and squeezes his hand though she knows that a small part of her still struggles to agree with him. She will always feel guilty. It’s a part of who she is now. But she can’t change it, can only move forward and try to do the right thing from now on.
‘God, I’m so tired,’ she says, her voice ragged.
‘I know, this week has been a lot,’ he agrees. ‘But hopefully we’ll be free to leave soon. I don’t think the police will need us for much longer. It sounds like they’re starting to accept that the fire was probably accidental, after all. Something about an electrical fault and possible negligence.’
‘So why did they suspect it was arson in the first place?’
‘Dunno but I’d put money on it being Tobias Woolf’s idea and he pointed the finger at you and me for it, got the police to arrest us. Twat. Ah well, he might have a bit of a mess on his hands now though.’
‘Why? What makes you say that?’ she asks.
Tim takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly as if to steady his nerves.
‘One of the victims of the fire didn’t make it.’
Lottie raises her hands to her face and closes her eyes briefly in horror.
‘Who? Which one?’ she asks through her fingers.
‘Petras. The guy from the building site. Apparently, he and his wife had been using the property as a place to sleep, finding a way in through one of the windows, dossing down in a sleeping bag. They didn’t stand a chance, what with the smoke andfalling debris.’ Lottie gives a soft moan of anguish. ‘I just keep thinking about how kind he was. How great he was with Josh that day. It’s so sad,’ he adds.
She nods in agreement but she cannot speak. Her words stay stoppered in her mouth, her throat a tight fist of emotion.
TUESDAY
58
Olivia and Marcus are out walking on the beach. It is still early; deliciously cool and fresh, the wind whipping at their hair, the tide licking at their feet. She acknowledges to herself how ironic it is, how she had wanted exactly this, had craved it all week. In fact, she had been fantasising about it for months; an emblem of what their new life down by the coast would be. But now it is here, she knows it is over already.
‘Was it all just a spiteful bid for revenge on Tobias, then? Was I just a way to get back at your absent father?’ she asks.
She is trying to keep the reproach from her voice – the people-pleaser in her still evident – but she can’t. She knows she sounds bitter, scorned, wounded – all those clichés and she hates herself for it. Marcus shakes his head but doesn’t deny it immediately. He appears to be choosing his words carefully. ‘Oh for God’s sake, Marcus, please. Just be honest with me. You at least owe me that.’
He stops short then, his feet coming to a halt in the wet sandy shale, the sea water seeping into the soles of his shoes.
‘No, of course not. I don’t know. I admit, I did target Tobias when I pitched for the job. I’d been trying to find him all my life, I see that now. My mum wouldn’t even talk about him or mention his name when I was growing up. The first time I saw my own birth certificate and read ‘father unknown’ … you have no idea how that feels. And then a couple of years ago, it all came out. She finally told me. Made me promise I wouldn’t try to find him, that no good could come of it, but she must have suspected I would, one day.’
‘For what it’s worth, I don’t think Tobias ever knew of your existence,’ Olivia says warily. ‘I mean, I don’t know if it would have made any difference but he was totally ignorant.’
Marcus gives a bitter laugh which makes her shrink. She is seeing a whole new side to him now that he has let his guard down. The smooth, unruffled exterior is gone and in its place is a man who at once seems older, more jaded and yet also younger, vulnerable somehow without his protective veneer.
‘Yes, ignorant is the word. Did you know he forced himself on my mum, all those years ago? He raped her. Let’s call it what it is, even though he would never have considered it as such at the time. And then he got her sacked. Paid her off, told her to find another position somewhere else. Out of sight, out of mind.’
‘Oh my poor darling,’ she says, reaching up a hand to stroke his face before retracting it. As ever, she is caught on the cusp of emotions; the desire to console her lover and the urge to mother this lost child. It has never been entirely clear which it is, she admits, the two coalescing in a way that is now unsettling.
‘Don’t,’ he says, turning away from her.
