‘What are you doing?’ I shrieked, pushing him away.
He feigned shock, his eyes wide. ‘Wow, talk about an overreaction. I was just showing you how to fix the error message.’
‘Well, don’t.’
‘Come now, Amber. You know you want this as much as I do. I’ve seen the way you look at me.’
I stared at him, bewildered. ‘I don’t look at you like anything.’
He licked his lips. ‘I know what girls like you are like. Always up for it, aren’t you?’ His eyes slid down me and he took a step closer. ‘You’re fucking asking for it, dressed like that.’
My gaze fell first to my fitted tee, black trousers and ballet pumps, then slid to the bulge in his trousers. The contents of my stomach went into freefall.
‘Rob, I—’ I made to move for the door, but he caught my shoulder and spun me around to face him.
‘Not so fast, you dirty little tease.’ His voice was low, rasping.
‘Please, Rob, I?—’
His strength took me by surprise. He pushed me against the stationery cupboard, holding my wrists above my head with one hand while fumbling with his flies with the other.
‘No. No, I don’t want this!’ I cried.
‘Course you do, you little bitch.’
I could feel his breath in my face, his tongue pushing, probing, until I was gagging, fat tears rolling down my cheeks, fear coursing through me at what might happen next.
Rob drew back at the sound of a chair scraping across the floor above our heads. I could have run then. I could have wriggled out of his grasp and fled the room, but I was paralysed. Frozen to the spot like an ice sculpture.
‘Where were we?’ Rob growled. His hands were everywhere. In my hair, circling my buttocks, squeezing my breasts. I was breathing in sobbing gasps, my head whipping this way and that, trying to avoid his lips, his stale, beery breath. My armpits were slick with sweat, my legs as weak as spaghetti.
A memory bloomed in my mind, like a glass of spilt milk on the kitchen counter. My mother, lying on the sofa, comatose, her jeans round her ankles. The guy called Steve, one of a long line of dropouts and losers she’d met at the pub, on top of her, grunting and thrusting like a hairy pig. Me, standing frozen inthe doorway, both repulsed and unable to tear my eyes away. The sight hadn’t made much sense at the time. My six-year-old brain just couldn’t compute. It was only years later I realised what I’d seen, and I’d wondered if consent had played any part in the coupling, or was Steve just another man who thought he could take what he wanted, without a shred of regard for the woman whose life he was wrecking.
Rob simultaneously reached for the zipper on my trousers and clasped a hand over my mouth. At that moment there was a rap on the door and Denise’s voice carried through.
‘Rob, the MD’s on the phone. He wants to speak to you pronto.’
Rob sprang back, smoothed his hair and straightened his tie. Then he leant forwards and whispered in my ear.
‘Don’t even think about reporting this, because it’ll be your word against mine, and who d’you think they’re going to believe: you, some two-bit slag who’s only been here five minutes, or me?’ He paused at the door and looked back, his face an ugly sneer. ‘And that’s a rhetorical question, darlin’. So keep your mouth shut and fix the fucking photocopier, or I’ll have to find a reason to let you go. It’s your choice.’
26
AMBER
The next morning, at breakfast, Barney announces that he’s going to catch the sea taxi to Thalassia to visit the weekly market.
‘But we were going to spend the day at Kalypso Bay, remember? Maria’s making a picnic,’ Simone says.
‘You won’t miss me. Besides, I have a present for the birthday girl to buy.’
She brightens. ‘In that case, you have my permission to leave. Just make sure you buy me something nice.’ She winks at him.
‘The boats usually leave on the half-hour,’ Felix says, not looking up from his paper. ‘Check with Maria before you go, in case she needs anything.’
A look of annoyance crosses Barney’s face and I can’t say I blame him. Felix’s peremptory tone would put my back up, too. But Felix is oblivious and no one else seems to notice.
I think of the hastily wrapped gift set from The Body Shop I’d bought as a birthday present for Simone and realise it’s not going to cut it.
