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Consulate General of Genovia
HRH Mia Thermopolis “FtLouie”>
Why do you keep calling me? I’m studying. Unless the consulate is under attack by protesters again and Lars is eating GMO oranges whole, I do not want to know.
Sorry. I just have something important to tell you. But it’s not about Lars.
I saw your statement on the news about your sister. It was good.
Thanks. It didn’t do any good. Her aunt came and took her back to New Jersey.
What? We had an agreement!
She has legal guardianship, therefore your agreement was not valid. But she may have violated terms of said guardianship. Dad’s lawyers are going to be up all night working on it. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you before you hear it somewhere else is 1 M pr3gnt.
Ha ha ha, I know, I read it on the covers of like three tabloids this week. It’s twins.
No, for real, I am, and it is.
Is my brother telling the truth about administering a “mouthful of fist” to J.P. at your grandma’s place?
Yes, it’s true, Michael did. Although he didn’t hit him in the mouth. And I don’t know how the press figured out about the twins before I did. Maybe it’s because they watch me 24 hrs a day and noticed my very slight weight gain.
You really need to cut back on the meds, Thermopolis. I know you’re under a lot of stress, but this is crazy.
I’m not on any meds. I just thought you’d want to know since you’re going to be an aunt for real, but if you don’t want to believe me, that’s fine, too. I’d say ask your brother, but he’s asleep next to the now-empty carton of Rocky Road.
Okay, now I KNOW you’re hallucinating. It’s okay, we did a case about this in class once, over 30 percent of people experience hallucinations right before or after waking and they can feel very convincing . . .
Okay, well, I look forward to your abject apology when I turn out to be right about all this stuff and you’re wrong, especially since it happens so rarely.
Okay. Good night, POG. Try not to operate any heavy machinery.
Good night, Auntie Lilly!
CHAPTER 68
9:35 a.m., Friday, May 8
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
Apparently Grandmère isn’t one of those people who believe that you should treat pregnant women—even women who are pregnant with twins—like they are delicate flowers.
(Michael isn’t either, but he’s decided to work from home anyway—at least this morning, since he has a meeting this afternoon—because I’m supposed to be resting my foot. He brought me breakfast in bed.)
Although I think he’s regretting this decision, because Grandmère’s been calling the apartment since nine, demanding that I come back to the Plaza immediately to explain myself.
Obviously I’m not picking up. I decided to text her because I really can’t bring myself to speak to her right now, and also I’m enjoying my eggs and toast too much.
HRH Mia Thermopolis “FtLouie”>
I thought I explained myself pretty thoroughly last night. I left my explanation on your suit of armor.
Amelia, you are being obtuse. Have you spoken to your father yet this morning? Because I have, and do you know what he told me? He said in addition to giving up his position as prime minister, he’s officially stepping down as regent. He and your mother are “in love,” whatever that means. Abdicating, Amelia! He’s officially abdicating!
And I have just officially had my first round of morning sickness.
