"Like we would know what fun is?" Leah snorts and spins in a slow circle in her chair.
"Like you would know what style is? For all we know, striped kimonos and chef's aprons are what girls our age are wearing." I look at the sweater again. "Dad would have liked it."
I push one hand into the cashmere sleeve and pull it up over my shoulders, and the opposite arm.
Before buttoning it, I cross to the enormous mirror above the antique dresser. I've got on a white bra and panties. At least they match. They're as fancy as anything I have. But they do not say 'stripper.'
I try not to dwell on the fact that my collarbones don't stick out and there isn't a rib in sight. I may not be the pinnacle of every man's desire, but maybe there's some demand for the novelty dancing chubby girl.
This is as sexy as I'm going to get, so I hope it's enough.
"Dad liked everything you did." Leah's voice is softer.
I snap my head around to her bright smile. She's beautiful. Like, magazine cover beautiful.
I've always wished I could look like her. If we were in a movie, she'd be the glamorous leading lady, and I'd be the plain Jane sidekick with my too-round center and my inability to keep wild, inappropriate things from tumbling out of my mouth at the worst possible moments.
"He loved everything about everything. Especially us." I finish buttoning my sweater to the top, clutch my arms around myself, and run my hands up to my shoulders.
"How are you going to get there? If you take a car, they will know."
"I'm taking the bus." I stand up, stretching every inch of my five feet. My arms drop as I face her. She's still giving me that protective stare.
"The bus? How do you even know there is a bus?" She's mocking me now.
"It's calledthe internet." I roll my eyes, turning back toward the mirror and grabbing a hairband from the dresser top.
How would a stripper wear her hair to a stripper interview?
"The internet? When wereyouon the internet?" Leah's eyes widen.
I tip my head, squint, and confess. "Fine. I grabbed a bus schedule out of Mariana's purse."
Mariana is one of the kitchen staff here at the estate. She’s not much older than Leah and me, but honestly, it’s a bit hard to tell. She’s so quiet. She’s always looking down when anyone speaks to her or looks her way. There’s a sadness in her eyes, but the way our house is run, she would lose her job if she spoke to us outside of practical matters involving the lunch menu or whether we prefer tea or coffee.
And truth? I have my own problems, and at least she gets to leave at the end of the day.
In the mirror, Leah covers her face with both hands and shakes her head, snorting.
"I'll be fine,” I tell her. “It's like, less than a mile from here. I mean, where else can I work and Simon won't know? They never come around up here at night. It's just been the two of us up here for months. I can sneak out at eleven, be back by four-thirty, and hopefully get some money in my pocket. We are not living here forever, Leah. I'm telling you." I spin around as I throw my auburn hair into a ponytail on top of my head. "We are leaving here and getting our own place, at least for a while. I want to be out in the world, see things. I want todothings."
"I told you, just go, leave me here. I have no life anyway." She drops her eyes to look down at her legs. When she's not in the chair, she has to use her forearm crutches.
Both her legs were crushed in the accident, and she's lucky they were able to save them at all.
She lifts her eyes with hope, and it hurts. "It'll be so much easier for you to just go get a place on your own. You can get the money together for that if you don't have me around. Taking care of me is not your obligation. I want you to be happy, May. That's what I want more than anything."
"I will never leave you," I say with as much composure as I can manage. "And I want us to be happy more than anything. I'll figure this out. You just have to trust me."
"How do you even know about this Monarch place? What do you even know? It could be dangerous."
"I've been reading about it. Simon lets me read the business section, and I've been following it for a year. The city council tried to block the entire project, but finally, they got their zoning approvals. And it's been the big talk, because who would have ever expected a nightclub — let alone a strippy type club — around here? Everyone was just all gaspy and not-in-my-neighborhood about it." I smile because it secretly pleased me when they won the battle and were able to build the club. This stuffy neighborhood needs some shaking up.
"What about Victor?" She screws up her face as she says his name.
"What about him?"
"You're supposed to marry him. If your plan is to go out and make money so we can move out, are you not doing that? Because you know what that means." She shakes some hair out of her eyes. "Do you love him? Like Mom and Dad kind of love?"
